“What did you think of Amber?” The words were out before I’d considered them and I wished I could pull them back. I didn’t want to be the type of person who needed a character study on someone they might pursue something with. I wanted to be easy going and carefree, that girl who just gets on with things and has a good time and doesn’t worry herself into pacing up and down at three am because she might’ve forgotten to lock a door.
Dot smiled. “Amber was always a nice girl. She was bright and mischievous and constantly on the go. In all the time they were together I saw her maybe two dozen times. They didn’t spend a lot of time together as she was working as a consultant and would be away for weeks at a time. Ask away. I’m not going to tell Owen that you’re asking twenty questions, especially if it helps you make your decision.”
“Were you surprised when they got married?”
“Yes. They didn’t get engaged and as far as I knew, they hadn’t even talked about it. Amber was very impulsive and I suspect it was a total spur of the moment decision. I know they both had doubts about their relationship as I could see it. They didn’t know what they were and because they didn’t row they didn’t have cause to end it. It was a make or break decision,” Dot said, catching the waiter’s eye. “I need food and so do you. Once you’ve eaten at least enough to feed two of your brothers you can think about a small glass of wine.”
I felt my shoulders relax as Dot ordered enough tapas to sustain me for a couple of days. She asked if I wanted to add anything else to the order, but other than the chorizo bites, she’d ordered everything and more.
“Why didn’t he tell me?” I said as the waiter moved away. “I could’ve dealt with the whole past marriage thing, especially how it happened. But why didn’t he say?”
“Honestly,” Dot said, picking up an olive. “I think he’s moved on from Amber far enough he’s forgotten it happened. She cheated straight away and I suspect that was because she’d then have a reason to finish it, to give Owen a reason to not want to be with her and to prove to herself that their relationship was not a long term one. When she told him, they didn’t fall out and I don’t think it bothered him. He’s never been hung up since about girlfriends or fidelity, so the experience hasn’t scarred him.”
I nodded, processing the information. “I can understand that. I just have to get over myself.”
“Things aren’t always black and white, Payton. A relationship with anyone, and not just a romantic one, is filled with every shade of every colour. You have times when you pull and you push and times when you’re close and when you’re far apart. It’s always a work in progress. When it stops being, like with Owen and Amber, that’s when it needs evaluating, because people change and a relationship has to change to grow with them,” she said, finishing as two bowls of Padron peppers landed in front of us.
“What happened with you and Dave?” I said, biting into a pepper that turned out to be one of the spicy ones.
Dot thought for a moment, her teeth resting in the flesh of a pepper. “We were stagnant. We’d changed and moved on but our relationship had paused. I wish now we’d been more serious early on and I’d moved in and we’d had a child, maybe. That ship’s sailed across several oceans by now, but we were still having the same routine and I needed more. Instead of asking him for it, I wanted to look elsewhere.”
“But you didn’t find it?”
She shook her head. “No. Because I love Dave and that hadn’t stopped. We’re working on it. I think we’ll look to buy somewhere together in the next few weeks and make a commitment. Maybe we’ll get married. Who knows?”
We carried on eating, the tapas reminding me why food was good and the conversation reminding me of why I didn’t live simply to work. I was well aware of my head in my ass tendencies and my use of work as a shield. I could carry on like that forever, not risking being hurt and staying safe, but that would leave me as the delightfully weird maiden aunt probably surrounded by a gazillion giant bunnies, as I wasn’t a cat person.
* * *
I managed to get home around eight pm, having had the best night I’d had since that Friday. Dot hadn’t talked about how Owen was getting on, except casually mentioning him, nor had I asked. I did know he hadn’t met anyone else or started seeing Amber again; both situations had crossed my mind and I had dwelled on them, usually at around three o’clock in the morning.
The only person I was fighting with at present was myself. Owen had done one thing wrong, and not deliberately. I got that. He wasn’t a twat like the men who had fucked me over in the past. But letting this go and giving it that chance was leaving me even wider open to be crucified should this relationship not work. My instincts were to run for the hills – or in London’s case the depths of the Thames – and not get involved with a man who could have the power to crush my heart.
Only one key was needed to get into my apartment. I stopped, paused, wondering who the hell was inside or if I’d left it unlocked this morning or if I’d been broken in to and the thief was still there.
“Only me, Payts!” The dulcet tones of my twin hit my ears like cymbals—irritating and loud.
“For the love of all things holy, why are you here and how did you get in?”
“Claire gave me your key. I’ve come to hang.”
“Why?”
“Because.” He eyed me and I noticed he’d opened a bottle of malbec and was currently half way through a glass. “Two reasons really: the first, I figured you needed company and I’ve no intention of talking about Owen, unless you want to, and you might because I had beers with him before; the second, I walked in on Max and Vic doing it in the kitchen and I think I’m going to need more therapy. I can’t go back there tonight.”
I frowned, ignoring the comment about Owen for now. “It’s Max. The kitchen will have been vacated by now. You’ll be safe.”
He shook his head. “Nope. I think he’s proposed. The hallway was full of flowers and I could smell dinner. I think they’ll be going at it all night.”
“Did he not give you the head’s up? Tell you to keep out of the way?” I said, surprised. Maxwell was generally quite thorough.
“I had an email from him that I didn’t opened. I thought it was probably reminding me about a meeting with one of his clients. Then I got distracted by a message from a potential date. so yeah, he gave me the head’s up, but I didn’t get it in time,” Seph said, rambling on as per usual. “What are we watching?”
“Do I need to feed you too?”
“No. I grabbed pizza with Owen. Where’ve you been? I know you weren’t at work. Eli said you’d gone already,” Seph said, putting his feet up on my coffee table, that was still tidy. I hadn’t slipped back into my messy mode which I was proud of.
I grabbed a glass and sat down next to him, picking the bottle up from the floor. “I met Owen’s mum for tapas and a talk.”
