At some point I have to trust that she’s going to be okay.
It’s very fucking hard to have my heart all the way on the other side of the continent.
CHAPTER 48
FRANKIE
“Well, that was an eventful morning,” I say to Sloane when I go back inside. “I’m going to take a nap, and then I’m going to drive to campus later.”
“What time? I might go with you.”
“Depends, I told Logan I’d get checked out. I need to get a birth control prescription anyway, so I might as well see if I can get a Student Health Center appointment instead of going to urgent care.”
“Okay, keep me posted.”
I crawl back into bed, aching from my near miss and the way I threw myself off the bike. I ignored it for a few hours, but now that I’m alone in my bed…it was scary.
I should have told Logan that.
It’s a drumbeat that repeats in a loop on my head. I can’t believe he bought me a car.
“He bought himself a car that I’m going to use for a few months,” I whisper out loud.
But it’s still…
I swipe a tear that crawls down my face.
Puffing out my cheeks, I ignore the sad feeling looming inside me, and I go online to book an appointment. I grab one at the end of the day, by which point Logan will be on the ice.
I schedule a text to let him know that’s booked when he wakes up from what will be, at this point, a thirty minute nap.
Then I flip over to the text chain I have with my mother.
She hasn’t sent me anything in a few weeks.
I don’t even know what I want to say.
I was almost hit by car today. I wasn’t, though. I’m fine. But someone else worries about me so much he bought me a car immediately, and if Dad finds out, he’ll find a way to ruin this for me. And I don’t think you’ll understand how devastating that would be for me.
I miss you.
I wish you had taken care of me once upon a time so this doesn’t feel so uniquely profound that Logan is taking care of me now.
I hate how vulnerable I feel right now.
I’ve always been emotional and hot headed, but the last two months it’s been a level up in that regard, and I think it’s because I’m falling for Logan on more than one level, and deep down, I’m afraid of losing him. Not because of him, but because of my past.
And I can’t live like that.
Tears streaming, I type so fast I make typos, and have to keep deleting and re-typing, but I finally get a series of messages out.
Frankie
I’ve met someone important to me
He’s so special, and I’m afraid to tell you and Dad about it
I don’t expect you to understand why I’m scared, but at some point, you might learn about my relationship and I want you to know that I did think about telling you directly, and I decided not to because I need to protect my heart
