“Straight to the point, I see. I can work with that. Fine. I will arrange for a car to bring you to my penthouse this coming Saturday at seven-pm. You will remain with me for a full twelve hours. Your payment will be transferred after the twelve hours before you leave. I will provide everything, so you only need to bring yourself. I suggest you look up how to prepare yourself for me,” I say, trying to hold back a groan as hischeeks flush a pretty shade of red. Obviously I don’t need to explain what I mean.
I expect attitude or some kind of snarky response, but he just nods and stands there. Poor fucker doesn’t know what to do with himself as the reality of this happening has started to set in. Part of me wants to reassure him, which is something I never feel. I stand and move over towards him and I gently place my hand under his chin. “We’re going to have so much fun, Leo. I promise you that,” I whisper, hovering over his face. His eyes flash with surprise, then his pupils dilate and turn dopey, like he has inhaled a drug. Yes, yes I can work with this. He will be easier to break than I thought.
Pulling away, I walk back to my desk. “I will see you Saturday, Leo,” and with that he turns and hightails out of here like he has caught fire.
CHAPTER 16 - LEO
To say this week has been a shitshow of epic proportions would be an understatement. Every day at work has dragged to the point of feeling like the days never end, constant nerves in my stomach at the prospect of bumping into Ethan on my daily route. Fortunately, I’ve been able to avoid him, like the mature man that I am, by sneaking onto his floor and leaving his mail as quickly as humanly possible, in a not-so-gentle manner, thrown onto his office workers’ desks.
Today is Friday, and I am a complete ball of anxiety mixed with a short fuse. Yes, I’m an asshole, taking out this situation I am in, of my own making, onto everyone else, but it’s my go-to defense, projecting onto others. It’s a different story at home, I’m more subdued, unusually quiet. Of course Sarah has noticed, she has tried to talk to me but it’s hard. She doesn’t understand how difficult this is for me, and if she did, I would have to explain the conflicting feelings I have that I barelyunderstand myself. I choose to live in denial, convincing myself this will all be fine after tomorrow, I can work my notice and move on with Sarah. We will finally be able to put our life plans into action, and that’s what I need to concentrate on.
“Hey man, shouldn’t you have left by now?” Danny says, making me nearly jump out of my skin while I have been sitting here in the corner of the sorting room, far away in my thoughts. I look down at my watch. Shit, I should’ve left an hour ago, as I’m supposed to be taking Sarah out tonight. She thought it may help calm me and direct our thoughts on us. I jump up and go to grab my jacket from the locker.
“Damn it, I completely lost track of the time. See ya Monday,” I call out to Danny as I rush past him, not wanting to spend a minute longer in this building than I have to.
As I rush through the building into the reception area, my heart rate rises when I spot Ethan at the front desk, chatting casually with the receptionists. Hoping to leave without his notice, I nearly fall into a slow jog to the doors. Of course, like he can sense I’m there, his head whips round and he stares right into my soul. It takes a moment for me to realize I have stopped moving, unable to look away. My brain that’s telling me to move is not communicating very well with my eyes and body. A slow and predatorial smile spreads across his face, the dimple magnified by the stretch of his mouth. He gives me a slow perusal and moves his body back to facing the women at the front desk, whichreleases me from his hold. Almost as if I have been granted permission to leave, I run the fuck out of there and head home.
It takes fucking forever to get across the city to get home, and when I walk into the apartment, Sarah appears in front of me so quickly you would think she jumped down from the ceiling.
“Where have you been? We won’t make our reservation now,” she says, disappointment lacing her tone.
“Sorry, I got held up at work then it was a nightmare getting home,” I say.
“You could’ve called,” she says, her voice sounding mildly irritated, like she is holding back from criticizing me. I should have the words “I’m an asshole” tattooed on my forehead.
I gather her up into a warm embrace and kiss her head. I ignore how her body stiffens against mine, getting the sense that she wants to pull away. Could this whole situation get any fucking worse?
“Lets just stay in, watch a movie and order take out. Have a snuggle night, just like we used to?” I say as I look down at her, brushing away the strands of hair on her beautiful face. She considers me for a moment, then gives me a small yet forced smile. Again, I ignore it.
“Sounds good. You know you can talk to me if you’re nervous, you know?” she says tenderly and I do appreciate it, but I want one evening without Ethan being with us.
“I know, but I don’t wanna talk about it, or him. Let’s just enjoy our night,” I say before pulling away.
“Why don’t you order while I take a quick shower,” I say, giving her a smile I hope to fuck reassures her.
“Okay, any requests?” she asks.
“No, I’ll eat anything,” I say and make my way into the bathroom. As I close the door, I lean up against it, hitting the back of my head against the chipped wood, my mind whizzing about tomorrow which has become all consuming. Moving over to the sink, I reach down into the cupboard underneath and remove the box that was delivered to me yesterday. I haven’t had the nerve to look in it, but for some reason, it feels like now is the time. As I open it, my breathing starts to build up in its pace as I look over the contents. Anal douche kit.Oh god, what the fuck am I doing?I place the contents back inside the box and hide it in the back of my side of the cupboard. I may have to get drunk before I leave tomorrow.
Saturday - The big night
Looking at myself in my bedroom mirror, I hardly recognize the guy who is staring right back at me. After the trauma of douching my ass in the shower, and manscaping myself, I feel like a different person. But I am a different person. All this prep is because I have sold my body for the night, and that alone is enough for me to question who I really am and the lengths I would go to for my marriage and future. Seems like Ethan was right, I do have a price, and that makes me feel dirty, like I’m about to become used up goods. I rest my head onto theglass mirror and take in deep breaths, trying to calm myself before I have a total freak out.
It’s just sex, nothing else.
I repeat that mantra to myself over and over until I almost believe it, when a knock on the door has me stiffening.
“Leo, the car is downstairs waiting,” Sarah says through the closed bathroom door.
“I’ll be right there,” I say, my voice wobbling on the final word. I leave the room and come face to face with Sarah, where she grabs me for a hug and holds onto me tightly.
“We will be fine, Leo. All of this will be forgotten, and we can start again,” she says into my neck as I squeeze her one last time. Why does this feel like a goodbye?
“I’ll text you when I leave tomorrow,” I say, and she smiles sweetly.
Then, gathering all my balls of steel and posturing myself with my asshole attitude, I walk out to the waiting car and try to ignore the feeling of disgust at myself for even thinking of doing this.
CHAPTER 17 - ETHAN
