You're mine now, baby brother. I own you.
Hold on, it’ll be over soon.
Help me.
“The night he called me in to see him after that Santini shit went down,” I say, fear quickly creeping in. My mind is full of how painful the skin around my eye is right now.
“You fucking rat. Kill him, Jake, and let’s just leave,” Tommy says.
That makes me laugh. I'm starting to lose the plot altogether. Nothing about this is remotely amusing. The hysteria overshadows the fear as the psycho in my mind shamelessly throws itself to the front of the queue, pushing the young boy to the side, which makes my mouth run away from me. I’m surprised the boy remains quiet.
“Aww, are you getting jealous, Tommy? Jake still won’t wanna fuck you.'' I cackle as Tommy pales and moves towards me, no doubt to hit me, but Jake holds him back, blocking him from stepping towards me with his arm.
“He’s mine, Tommy, and I have a better plan to teach my baby brother a lesson.”
That comment halts the laughter, like I have been hypnotized. I grind my teeth hard, trying to push that term to the back of my head so I don't start to crack.
Open wide, baby brother.
It’s okay, it’ll be okay. Hold on.
No!
“I’m not your fucking brother.” Spit flies from my mouth as I hiss out those words, hoping the venom behind them will rid their effect on me.
Jake gently strokes the side of my cheek and this, this terrifies me more than any beating or torture he could inflict on me. I try to pull back but there is nowhere to go, the post behind me keeping me in place.
“Yes I am, I looked after you. We are as good as brothers, and it's my job to keep you in line,” he whispers softly, continuing to stroke my cheek. I would consider it affectionate if it wasn’t for the fact that it's Jake. My body tremors at the horror of him touching me, my skin feels dirty. He moves back and does an assessing look over my body, it's a perusal that I don't want.
“Shay, guard the door. Tommy, untie him and hold him down,” he says and my heart starts beating so fast that I pray a heart attack takes me before I ever have to experience his hands on me.
“Jake, I don't think you should do this, let's just go,” Shay begs. He knows what he’s planning.
“Shut the fuck up, Shay, before I put a bullet in your head, then what will your sister do?” he threatens.
Shay wavers for a moment before looking at me with an expression full of pity and leaves the room, shoulders slumped. I knew Shay was being blackmailed, now I know it's to do with his sister. I didn't even know he had a sister. It just adds to the never-ending list of Jake’s fucked up governance.
Tommy undoes my ties and I can't help the flare of panic. I knew it, I knew it was coming but now it's here. I just want to die.
“I'm gonna make you mine, baby brother,” he says.
He's said them. The words that make me shrink, the ones that set my nerves quaking in fear and conjure fat tears that roll hot rivers down my face.
Where is Crazy when I need him? He's nowhere. The scared young boy is the only thing left on offer. Left for dead, just like I was. He seeps into every part of me until I'm paralyzed. If only Jake knew he didn't even need any restraints. The boy only submits to Jake, he doesn't know how to fight him. He's a lonely presence in the darkness of my mind, begging for someone to help him. Pull him out of hell.
"P-Please, Jake," I beg, but it's too faint of a whisper to be heard in this world, only echoing through the place in my mind where the voices live, never reaching them.
Doesn't matter. Even if Jake could hear me, he wouldn't give a fuck. I don't know why I bother except ... there was a time when he was my brother. Was it only pretend? Or did he mean it when he put his arm around me and promised to protect me?
Whatever it was, there's nothing left of that guy.
I try again to call forth the dangerous version of me, the one who could fuck Jake up without a second thought. But it's like grappling with thin air. I can't gain purchase.
"You're gonna know your place. I'll remind you as often as you need it."
Nooooo, the young boy begs through the gloom. But there's no one to hear him and there's nothing I can do to help him.
All hope is lost.
