Kai…shit. Did he notice I was taken, or did they hurt him? Was he part of it?
A heavy-sounding metal door opens to my right and of course, in walks my fucking stepbrother, Tommy, and Shay. Shay is the only one who looks like he wants to be anywhere else but here. I feel the same, but I know there’s no point getting my hopes up that he will help me. I don't know why it happens but the frenzied laugh that leaves my lips is uncontrollable. This situation has stripped me bare. Then the realization hits me so hard that I have nothing to lose now. I don’t mean shit to anybody and I might as well leave this world with a bang. If anything, I will not allow my last moments to be under the psychological torment of Jake.
“What the fuck is so funny, you freak?” Tommy says, standing over me so I have to lean my head back against the post to see him.
“You. All of you.” I continue to laugh, like a deranged witch. I don’t sound human, shit, I don't feel human. All the voices in my head have created a war against one another, fighting for dominance to be heard. It hurts, it physically hurts and I want to scream to drown them all out. Focusing back on Tommy, his jaw ticks. He wants to hit me, fuck that, he would love to kill me. Well bring it the fuck on.
“Considering it's you that's tied up, I'd say you should be directing that laughter to yourself,” Tommy says.
My laughter is now dying down. I just shrug.
Make the fucker bleed.
It's okay, we will be okay.
Someone help me.
Open wide, baby brother.
All the voices intermingle, and I start rocking my body…shut up shut up!
Instead of the dulcet tones, each voice has a different cadence. Shrill, soothing, and angry. It’s so loud I wouldn't be surprised if others can hear them.
Please, please go away, please be quiet.
“Looks like the little freak has finally lost it,” Tommy comments, and I have to agree.
Closing my eyes and breathing deeply, I try to regain control of my mind and body.
Breathe in…breathe out.
As everything in my head starts to quiet, I try to focus. I focus on the hard floor beneath me, I focus on the three men in this room, I focus on the ties around my wrists, I focus on the hard post against my back. Slowly bringing myself back to Earth from the imminent panic attack, I grab onto reality and resist drifting away in my head.
Opening my eyes, Tommy is still holding himself over me like he thinks he is the big man, that all his wishes have come true. He’s so tragic that I can't be bothered to interact with the dumbfuck. My eyes drift over to Jake, whose stare is locked on me. He’s contemplating what to do and I know it won't be good.
“Stand him up,” Jake orders and Tommy roughly grabs me under the arms forcing me to stand.
I feel a sway of lightheadedness as soon as I am upright, and I take big gulps of air, trying to control the spinning room. Sickness stirs in my gut from the blow to my head.
“Now, baby brother, you wanna tell me how long you have been spying on me for the Kozlovs?”
I am about to deny knowing what he’s talking about until he holds his hand up, showing me the burner phone that Lev gave me, waving it in my face. Well, that's me screwed. He must have gotten it from my pocket when I was unconscious.
I struggle with a response. Mainly because I don't feel so hot, but also, I have no idea what to say. He already knows I have been lying, he is holding the proof.
“I don't remember,” I say which is followed by a punch to the stomach, making me bow over towards Jake. Grabbing my shoulders, he pushes me back up. Drool dribbles down my chin from being winded. He’s lucky I didn't throw up all over him.
It’s okay, it will be over soon. It’s okay.
Shut up!
“You know, I’ve never liked this, it makes you look too girly,” he says as he holds onto my eyebrow piercing. “Tommy,” he says before Tommy walks over, Jake holds my face as Tommy grips my piercing with a pair of pliers that I never noticed in his hand. Without any hesitancy, he attaches the pliers to the piercing, pulling hard until it rips from my skin.
“Fuck!” I shout. My body shakes, the ties holding my hands behind my back dig into my skin, burning my wrists. Blood drips into my eye, it fucking hurts, and I’m unable to control the sobs racking my body. It feels like someone has taken a hot blade and sliced my skin. Jake smiles, cupping my face in his hands and a triumphant Tommy moves behind him. The fuckers had planned this.
“Now, I’ll ask again, baby brother. How long?” he asks, his voice detached like he didn’t just tear my skin open. Like I am not his younger brother who he used to care for.
He’s not the brother I loved.
