Walking through the front door into my current life, all that excitement comes to a halt.
Katie is sprawled over the couch on her phone. When was the last time I liked her? The last time I wanted her?The days when I used to look at her with adoring eyes, admiring her beautiful long golden blonde hair, petite body, freckled skin, and those doe eyes. Now, she is my prison warden. Those doe eyes of hers always got her what she wanted, and it's taken years for me to see through the facade.There’s a mark on her neck, clearly a hickey, but weirdly I don't care. I'd prefer her to leave and make the decision for us. I don't envy the poor fucker who has to endure her bullshit. Annoyance rises as she smiles at me in the innocent way she always does when she wants something.
For fuck’s sake. I sigh and internally slap my face at this shitshow of a relationship. I'm tired, I just want to go to bed and jack off to thoughts of being kissed brutally while being starved of oxygen. Not by Dima though (I want to go back so he can choke me again).These internal arguments are really starting to piss me off and I want to kick my own ass.
“What do you want, Katie?” I say and exhale an exhausted sigh.
She jumps up from the couch and makes her way towards me, putting her delicate arms around my neck. They’re a turn off. I want big, manly, muscular arms instead. Shaking those feelings away, I focus on Katie who is using her doe eyes to their full “please help poor little innocent me” potential.
“Aw, boo, that's no way to greet me. We never see each other anymore. I'm just happy to see you.”
She moves to kiss me but I push her away.
“Well, if you were around, you would probably see me, but some of us are busting our asses working so spoiled bratty girlfriends can live.”
“Hey, I'm your fiancée, or have you forgotten? Jesus, Seb, I just wanted a hug. It feels like you don't want me around anymore. You don't touch me or talk to me. Now, you work long hours and I'm left here on my own. You can't be upset about me going out. Christ, Seb, you used to be fun, when did you become my dad?” Her tone alters to the real bitch she is.
"Nice hickey, which friend gave you that?” I ask.
She stills, restraining the surprise threatening to spill onto her face. I used to be a chill guy and let things slide, that's why I allowed her to treat me like she did. I only ever wanted her to be happy. But that ship has sailed, and I'm done.
“Do you know what? Fuck you, Seb. You wanna know the truth? Yeah, I've been fucking another guy, but can you blame me?We haven't had sex for months and you're never here!” she shouts in my face. Of course, it's my fault.
“Well stupid fucking me, you're such a selfish bitch, Katie. I’m out working to keep a roof over our heads and you’re parading around living like some college hoe while usingmymoney. I know you took the cash from where I hid it in the kitchen. Do you know how much it costs to keep this shithole going? Why don't you start charging for your services, it would be more honest, don't you think?”
Smack!
I can't believe she just slapped me. I grab her wrist. “Don't ever think you can lay your hands on me. That'll be the last time you'll ever do that. You get me?” I growl at her.
Her eyes widen at my tone. Then the tears fill her eyes. I swear to God she'd make a great actress. I know all her tells now. The lies. The manipulation.I'm so fucking done and suddenly realize it’s time.
“Now get your shit and get out.” I move to walk past her, done with this conversation. She grabs my arm and shouts in a high-pitched voice that grates my nerves.
“What do you mean get out? I live here. This is my apartment too. I don't have anywhere else to go,” she says.
“Not my problem. The apartment is mine, the lease is in my name, the bills are in my name. I pay for it all. You don't have anything. Why don't you see if the vampire will take you in, earn some cash while you're at it.”
The tears have stopped and she’s stone still.I'm not making empty threats, and she knows it.
“I'm going for a shower. I want your shit gone by the time I'm finished. Leave your key on the table on your way out.” I walk to the bathroom, close the door, and lean up against it. Closing my eyes, I take a few deep breaths. I’m… a little lighter.
There’s a suddensmashas the front door slams. So predictable.
After a long-deserved shower, I put my clean shorts on and creep out to see the destruction she left behind. The sofa-side table has been smashed into the TV, but no biggie, don't watch it anyway and it was secondhand.In the bedroom, my clothes are all over the place but at least she has taken the majority of her stuff and the key is on the bedside table.
Ding dong the witch has gone.I throw my clothes off the bed onto the floor. I’ll deal with the clean up tomorrow.With a smile on my face, I drift off to sleep, and yet again, the last thing I see is Dima.
I don't fight it.
It’s the next morning and I have the day off, so I need to do some mundane grown-up shit like get groceries, pay the bills, blah, blah, blah. The sun is shining and it feels like a sign. Katie has taken that chilly cloud with her.I honestly feel like skipping down to my bike. I'm not sure many people feel this happy after a break-up but I have already mourned Katie over the last couple of years. I was beginning to hate everything about her and luckily last night she gave me the out I needed.
As I get on my bike, I notice a car across the road. Quite a nice car for this area. I know from listening to the gossip at work that the Kozlov brothers have their dealing gangs around here. Some of them with nice cars that I’ve seen around, but I’ve not seen this one before and I don't know why but I get the sense whoever is in the car is watching me. Maybe I'm paranoid, but Dima has brought forward all these new feelings and emotions in me. Now I’m wary of others.
I head off to the grocery store and to the bank to sort some bills. Now that Katie is gone, I don't need to buy as much, so I can fit everything I need in my backpack. As I'm riding home, I spy the same car from earlier in my rear mirror. It’s a few cars behind me but I'm certain now that it’s following me. Should I go home? Or should I drive around and try to lose him?
Revving the accelerator throttle, I go on a little detour.I go around side streets and backroads that aren’t familiar to people that aren’t from around here.
After about five minutes the car seems to have disappeared. Good. I must have gotten rid of him. Confident that I’ve shaken my tail, I make my way home.
