One day at a time.
Benji hated driving away from Van’s place that morning. Hated it to his core. It felt too much like abandoning him, so Benji and Joshua could go on a fun road trip. That hollow disappointment fueled his anxiety the closer they got to the beach house and any questions their friends might have.
Andy and Danielle were visiting Andy’s family, but that still left nosy inquiries from Bobby and Lincoln. Less so from Emmett, because he simply wasn’t the nosy type. But when they got into the house, it was silent and empty. Benji could breathe more easily while he packed for two nights, tossing the essentials into a duffel bag with Joshua’s stuff. Them sharing a bed while visiting home had never bothered Benji’s parents.
They didn’t chat much on the drive north, other than the occasional comment about traffic or a shitty driver. His parents’ unassuming, two-story home in the suburbs of Philadelphia was the only place Benji had lived that he truly thought of as home. He’d lived there from fifteen onward, until he joined Fading Daze and began spending the majority of his time in motel rooms up and down the coast.
Sometimes he missed the stability of living at home and driving to local gigs night after night. Mostly he wanted the chance to stay in one place for longer than a week and figure out this poly thing with Joshua and Van, because he really, really wanted it to work.
They arrived around one in the afternoon. The Honda Civic his parents had shared for the last fifteen-odd years was parked in the short driveway, so Joshua found a spot on the street. Benji had texted his dad before they hit the road, so their arrival was marked by the front door opening and spilling both of his smiling parents onto the stoop.
Benji gave a peal of happy laughter and hugged his mom Erin first. She was a tall, broad-shouldered woman who gave the best hugs. He’d inherited her wavy brown hair and wide eyes, but everything else came from his father, Lloyd. Dad was six inches shorter, with a slim build and no sign of gray in his blond hair. He’d also grown out a beard, which was weird.
“Going mountain man or something?” Benji asked after hugging him hard, and for a long time. His dad had been his best friend most of his life.
“Trying a new look,” Dad replied. “Not a fan?”
“You’ve never had a beard before. It’s weird.”
“I like it,” Joshua said.
Dad snickered. “Well, then, Erin hates it, so that’s one for, one against, and one undecided. Your tiebreaker is the difference between me keeping it, and me shaving.”
“Hmmmm . . .” Benji stroked his chin. “Don’t shave it, then.”
Mom pretended to huff. “You boys have lunch yet? I’ve got leftover meatloaf in the fridge, or we can go out to that Italian place you love.”
“Sonny’s!” He didn’t have to think about it. Sonny’s Brick Oven made the best homemade ravioli, and they were famous for their gigantic pizza pies.
“Sounds like we’re going out,” Dad said, and offered to drive.
After a few minutes of dumping their duffel and using the bathroom—nearly three hours in the car required a pit stop before more driving—they all piled into the Civic, and Dad drove to the quirky pizza place they’d first found about four years ago. The décor was cheesy, all fake grapes and wine bottles, but the food was amazing.
Dad ordered a pitcher of beer for the table. Benji made sure their addictive sausage and cheese ravioli was still on the menu—nothing else would do, now that he was craving them. While everyone else perused the menu, Mom kept up a steady stream of information about last weekend’s reunion, and everything going on with every member of the extended family. Dad pitched in occasionally.
“Everything okay with you boys?” Dad asked after the waitress had taken their orders. “You both seem a bit quiet today. Long drive?”
“No more than usual,” Joshua said. “Late night.”
“Still partying at the beach in October?”
Benji grabbed a breadstick out of the basket, unsure how to answer that one. Partying wasn’t exactly what they’d been up to in the wee hours of the night, but he wasn’t sure how to bring up Van. Right after the whole Virginia Beach incident, when he and Joshua had decided to close the relationship, Benji had called his parents and explained what was going on—everything from thinking he was ace to finally getting Joshua to commit. They had never agreed with his decision to have an open relationship, and they were overjoyed to hear that he and Joshua were settling down, so to speak.
“Is everything all right with you boys?” Mom asked.
“Yeah, we’re great.” Benji ripped his breadstick in half. “Better than ever, actually.”
“Well, good, that’s excellent news. You two have been through enough this past year and a half. You deserve some peace and happiness.”
“We are definitely happy,” Joshua added.
Benji tried to imagine Van at their table, seated in between him and Joshua, part of the family unit. Sharing a simple “welcome home” meal with his loved ones. He could definitely see it. But he was having trouble seeing his parents with those same casual smiles and open acceptance.
Joshua told a story about a particularly difficult customer at his part-time job, while Benji silently fretted. He nibbled his breadstick and sipped his beer, but he couldn’t relax. The subject of Van was like a giant elephant in the room, daring him to mention its presence, and it remained even after their food was served.
Benji ate his ravioli, and then stole a clump of melted mozzarella off Joshua’s plate of baked shells. He couldn’t help but wonder what Van might have ordered here. A salad,probably. The piles of pasta, cheese, and tomato sauce weren’t part of his very structured diet. A diet that kept him healthy and alive, while Benji ate whatever the hell he wanted without consequence.
He resisted eating a second breadstick.
