The ghost of a future scenario flittered in the corner of Van’s eye, and then was gone. A scenario involving three people, happy, in love, and fuck the rest of the world. So fleeting and sofucking fragile he didn’t dare hope it might come true. “You want to get to know me how?” Van asked.
“In all the ways,” Benji said with a shy smile. “I mean, I very much enjoyed kissing you, and I’d like to do it again. I want to have dinner with you. Talk to you about your hopes and dreams. All the goofy things people do when they first meet and are interested.” That smile faltered. “If that’s what you want.”
The idea of getting to know both of these men, of being a part of their lives—hell, a part of their romance—terrified Van on a cellular level. He wasn’t good at this. But he also knew, deep down in that dark place where he hid his loneliness, that hewantedthis. Except it could all end so badly . . .
“Van?” Benji squeezed his knee. “You look like you want to cry. What did I say?”
“You said all the right things,” Van said around the lump in his throat. “But I . . . I haven’t been in a relationship since I was seventeen. I don’t know how to do this.”
“How old are you?”
“Twenty-eight.”
Benji feigned shock. “My God, you’re an old man.”
“Gee thanks. How old are you?”
“Twenty-two. Joshua’s twenty-four.”
Van scoffed. “Children.” The tease made them all laugh, which broke some of the tension in the room. “Seriously, though. Are you asking me to . . . What are you asking me to do?”
“Nothing you don’t want to do. Seriously, Van. I know this is sudden and kind of weird, but we both like you. There is chemistry here, between all of us, in different combinations. I suppose I’m asking you to explore that with us.”
Joshua was watching Benji with pride shining in his eyes, and Van could only guess it was because Benji was the one doing the asking. Speaking up for something he wanted that was incredibly non-traditional and could be thrown back in his face.Then Joshua looked at Van, and that pride shifted into desire, sharp enough that Van felt it in his balls.
Van sipped his beer to draw out his answer. Give him time to think.
“You don’t have to say yes or no right now,” Benji said. “It’s a hell of a thing to ask. Would it be easier if we all worked on the friendship part first? Maybe let the sex work itself out?”
A bit of tightness eased in Van’s chest. “I can do that. I would absolutely like to get to know both of you better, outside of the bedroom first.”
The smile that blossomed on Benji’s face was absolutely worth his answer. “Fantastic.”
“I like that idea, too,” Joshua. “So much, in fact, that you two are going to stay here and chat, while I go shopping.”
Benji’s smile dropped, his expression almost panicked. “You’re what?”
“Relax, babe, he isn’t going to molest you while I’m away.” Joshua pressed a kiss to his lips and stood. “We really do need more food, now that there are four extra people in the house. And you two have never really had a private conversation that wasn’t flirted over a bar top.”
“I promise to be on my best behavior,” Van said. It irked him that Benji was nervous to be alone with him, but on another level, also understandable. “I’ll keep my hands to myself at all times.”
“Sorry, that was stupid of me,” Benji said. “It’s fine, Josh, get food.”
Joshua grinned. “Requests?”
“Those pizza-flavored Pringles I like.”
“Good choice. Van?”
Van blinked. “What? I don’t live here, you don’t have to buy me food.”
“Habit. Part of my attempt at wooing Benji all those years ago was showing up with his favorite junk food wherever he was studying.”
He wants to woo me with food?
“You seriously used the word ‘woo’ in conversation,” Van said. “Dude, you’re losing points with me already.”
Joshua flipped him off. “Whatever. It worked with him. I guess I’ll have to dig harder to figure out your weaknesses.”
