They hadn’t really settled Benji’s feelings over Joshua’s kiss with Van. In light of Benji’s current situation, he couldn’t find any more anger over it. Joshua had blindly supported Benji today, when he had every right to see it as a betrayal, or revenge. “Yes, we’re solid. I forgive you for kissing Van.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I’m not sure I was ever mad, exactly. Mostly confused and disappointed, but it’s not as if he had his hand down your pants.”
Joshua growled. “Not funny.”
“It’s kind of funny.”
“Someone who isn’t me had his hand on your dick, Ben. It’s not funny.”
Another wave of guilt hit Benji hard. “Sorry.” On the heels of that guilt came a small splash of fear, because Joshua was right. He’d gotten himself into a bad situation that could have been much, much worse if he hadn’t had such good friends nearby to get him out of it. “I think I owe Dani flowers. She’s the one who rescued me from Gropey Guy.”
“I’ll send some to your next hotel room, courtesy of both of us.”
“Thanks. I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”
“Pissed off an ancient Aztec sun god?”
Benji burst out laughing, grateful for the respite from so much seriousness. “You are such a dork.”
“And proud of it. It’s good to hear you laugh.”
“It’s good to laugh. But I’m not falling to pieces over this anymore. What’s done is done, and all we can do is move forward. From all of it.”
“You’re right. I love you.”
“I love you more. And I still trust you, Josh.”
Joshua sighed. “Thank you.”
“Do you still trust me?”
“I never once stopped. But Benji?”
Benji grinned. “Yeah?”
“The only guy allowed to grope you is me.”
“For the rest of our lives.”
Or for as long as I can keep pretending this thing with Van isn’t real.
TWELVE
Different websitesand gossip channels ran with the photos for a few weeks after the drunk groping incident. Benji wrote a statement for the band’s site. Their manager released a few social media comments denouncing it as an “unfortunate encounter” with someone looking to take advantage, adding that “all is well” with Benji and his boyfriend. Eventually, the buzz died down. Eddie kept them moving, but sometimes the venue seemed small. Or dirty. Not quite to their usual standard. A handful of pre-arranged gigs fell through at the last minute.
They weren’t traveling as frequently, there was more time in between gigs, and then the middle of October found them with an entire week of no scheduled venues, which gave the band time off. Their first full week off from performing in over a year, and Benji was fine with that. It meant seeing his parents briefly, and then going to the shore to be with Joshua.
Except his parents weren’t actually home the first weekend of his unexpected vacation. They were away at his dad’s twenty-fifth high school reunion, both eager to brag about their successful only child. But the rest of the band was joining him at the shore, so he wouldn’t be at a loss for company.
After their gig, Benji and Danielle took turns driving as they went down to the shore. When they finally got to the house, Benji had barely enough energy to kiss Joshua soundly, before collapsing in his bed. Joshua climbed in next to him and pull him close, holding him in a warm, caring embrace while Benji fell asleep, content in his boyfriend’s arms.
Joshua watched Benji for a long time while he slept, happy to hold him and enjoy the rarity of a lazy Saturday morning together. Benji’s hair had grown out a bit, making it shaggier and curlier than usual. It would be a rat’s nest when he finally got up. He had a few days worth of stubble that was kind of adorable, because his Benji was usually clean-shaven.
And that naturally made Joshua’s thoughts turn to Van, who was in the process of growing out some kind of goatee that looked insanely hot. Not that Joshua had sought Van out to ogle his chin hair. Last week Melody and Lincoln had pestered him to death to go to open-mike night, citing Joshua’s new hermit-like ways post-groping incident.
Part of Joshua had used lying low as an excuse to avoid Off Beat and Van. During that night out with Melody and Lincoln, he spent a lot of energy keeping himself from staring at Van. He also capped himself at two drinks, both brought to him by Lincoln.
