“You should be. Fuck, what if this hurts our reputation?”
“We aren’t going to throw you under the bus,” Danielle said. She moved to stand in front of him, her expression sharp. “The only crime you committed was drinking too much, and that’s not even a crime, so stop feeling guilty. You don’t remember what that guy did, so how can it be your fault? You didn’t ask anyone to photograph you and spread it all over the Internet.”
Benji loved her for those compassionate words, but it was still his own fucking fault for getting hammered in the first place—especially in a public club, an environment he had no control over. At least in Virginia Beach, Van had been there as a stable, sober support person.
I wish he were here now.
That startling thought made his belly swoop in a weird way. No, he didn’t want Van. He wanted Joshua. Joshua would make it all seem less awful—after he pitched a fit over Benji putting himself in that position in the first place.
Is it cheating if you don’t remember doing it?
“Damn it,” Benji said. “I need to call Joshua before he finds out from someone else.” He wanted to call his parents, too, mostly to get some moral support. They followed his career though the Fading Daze website, and a few social media pages, and he couldn’t imagine his mom’s reaction to photos of him being groped by a stranger in a gay club.
“You want privacy?” Danielle asked.
Benji nodded. “You guys mind?”
No one minded. After a few minutes, the room cleared out of everyone except Benji and his bruised heart. His phone was starting to die, so he plugged it in, and then plunked down on the carpet near the outlet. Morbidly curious, he plugged his name and Fading Daze into a browser to search. See what kind of damage he’d done.
A few hits on their performance last night, but it took a little digging to find the Instagram pictures. At least they weren’tcoming up in the top ten hits yet. That was bare consolation once he saw the pictures, though. Three of them, seemingly taken in succession. The lighting wasn’t great, and in the first one his face was obscured, but you could clearly see the aggressor’s hand down his pants.
The next one made Benji want to barf, because the other guy had started kissing his neck, leaving Benji’s face turned toward the picture-taker. Crystal clear, and he abhorred how much he seemed to be enjoying himself. The third showed him tilting his face back toward the unknown guy in his arms, seemingly preparing to eat his face.
A chill spread throughout Benji’s body. Words were one thing, but there was a reason why people started saying “pictures or it didn’t happen.” This was physical proof of what he’d done.
His phone lit up with Joshua’s picture. He was already calling.
“Fuck my life.” Benji braced himself for angry words, and then answered the call. “Hey.”
“Jesus, Ben, are you okay?” Joshua asked, the mad panic in his voice confusing Benji.
“I don’t think so.” The question was so odd, though, that he wasn’t sure if Joshua had seen the pictures, or if he thought something else was wrong.
“Lincoln saw the pictures online this morning, and he showed them to me. Christ, I want to hunt down that handsy prick and snap his balls off.”
Benji stared at a small stain on the opposite wall. “You aren’t mad at me?”
“For what? Getting drunk? No, I’m not mad about that. Some asshole put his hands on you when you couldn’t consent, and I need to know if you’re okay.” Joshua sounded so incredibly upset and helpless that Benji’s mind flashed to him as a ten year-old kid, unable to say no to an adult he trusted, and carrying thatinvisible scar for the rest of his life. Of course Joshua wouldn’t be mad at Benji.
“Hey, I’m okay,” Benji said. “I don’t remember it at all, and I hate that I got blackout drunk, but I’m okay. Mostly I’m worried about the gossip and if this could hurt the band.”
“I don’t give a shit about the band right now, Ben. I care about you.”
“I know, and I love you for that. I wanted to call you first and explain what happened, but I overslept, and then I had a killer hangover. Danielle and the guys were great, though. They’ve got my back, whatever the fallout.”
“So do I.”
“I know you do. More than anyone else, I’m kind of pissed at the guy who took the photos and posted them. But I guess that’s what happens when you front three sets, and then go mix it up with the locals.”
“People can be assholes.”
“So true.
“So how do you think this will play out?”
“I have no idea.” Benji pinched the bridge of his nose. “Maybe nothing will come of it, but with social media, it’s only a matter of time before rumors start. Probably Eddie will have me make a statement on our site owning up to the mistake, saying you and me are solid.”
Joshua’s voice audibly caught. “Are we? Solid?”
