His phone rang before he was halfway back to the Westmore house to fetch his car. Melody hadn’t wasted any time.
“Where did you go and why?” she asked the instant he took the call.
“I’m not in the party mood anymore. Can Adrian give you a ride? I’m heading home.”
“Yeah, he can give me a ride, but what happened? You ran out like your ass was on fire, and then Joshua chased after you.” Her end of the line got quieter, so she must have moved to one of the bedrooms or the bathroom. “What’s wrong, honey?”
“I got upset about being asked to play, and I’m not unpacking that baggage right now, so don’t ask. I needed air. Joshua came after me to apologize for being pushy. We talked.”
And then I practically molested him on the sidewalk.
“If all you did was talk, why did Joshua go right to his room when he got back? He looked upset.”
Van groaned. His car came into view, tucked neatly on the street. “Promise you won’t yell at me?”
“Oh Lord Jesus, Van. What?”
“I kissed him.”
She didn’t immediately respond, which suggested she was counting to ten or something to keep her temper in check. A hypothesis proved true by her very clipped tone when she said, “For someone who hates complicated, you sure just stepped in a huge, steaming pile of it.”
“It was one kiss. He barely kissed me back, and as soon as he did, he came to his senses and stopped it.”
“Would you have stopped it?”
Van grunted. “I don’t know.” He climbed into his car, because it was weird talking about this stuff outside, when anyone could overhear him. “It felt so good, Mel. It’s been a long time since a kiss felt so good. So right. And Joshua isn’t sorry it happened.”
She made a squawking noise. “He’s not?”
“No. He almost seemed upset that I was upset, rather than upset about the kiss itself. Does that make sense?”
“A little, I guess. But it’s not like he can date you and his current boyfriend.”
That scary “what if?” look on Joshua’s face flashed back into his mind. “Not really.”
“Notreally?”
“No, he can’t date both of us, because I don’t date.”
Melody went quiet. “If Joshua was single, would you date him?”
Yes.“I don’t know.”
“Honey, the fact that you didn’t say no means yes, you would. He’s got his claws in deep, and you need to get them out and get over him, before all three of your hearts are broken.”
“I know.” Van was clear on the implications of pursuing anything else with Joshua, and he didn’t want to be that guy. Van worked with very clear parameters in his sex life. He loved sex, and he’d had it with a vast variety of people over the years. But he made sure each of his partners knew up front that it was sex and nothing else, so no feelings got bruised.
And yet, somehow, his feelings were bashed all to pieces, and all he’d done waskissJoshua.
“I know how much this has got to suck for you,” Melody said. She was quieter, more reverent. “You haven’t put your heart out there in a long time, and it ends up getting kicked because the guy is taken. I’m so sorry.”
“It is what it is.”
“On the bright side, you’re only twenty-eight. Plenty of time to find the next Mr. or Mrs. Van Holt.”
Only took ten years this time. What’s the fucking rush?
“Thanks, Mel. Go enjoy the party, okay? Stop fussing over me.”
