“Yes.”
“Come on, Eva. We need to talk about this.”
“We need to do no such thing.”
“But—”
“Okay.” Eva raised her head, setting her jaw and meeting Lily’s gaze, knowing if she didn’t put a stop to this—if she didn’t set a clear boundary—things would only get worse. It was for the best, to end things now, before they ever truly begun. Better to halt whatever it was blooming between them before someone got hurt. “You want to talk? The other night was a mistake. I don’t want to be your friend, I don’t want to be your lover, I don’t want us to be anything other than colleagues, and really would appreciate it if you refrained from talking to me or meddling in my affairs from now on.”
Lily spluttered, her eyes widening. “Meddling in your affairs?”
“Will that be a problem?”
Lily stared at Eva, a flush on her cheeks and her hands clenched into tight fists. “Is that what you want?”
“Yes.”No. I don’t know.
Lily sighed, her shoulders dropping in defeat. “Fine. I won’t bother you again.” She turned on her heel and strode from the room, slamming the door behind her, and Eva let out her breath.
It was what she’d wanted, but why did she feel so empty?
Eva dropped into her chair and held her head in her hands. She could feel a migraine building—she’d hardly slept over the weekend, and it was catching up with her now. She should’ve gone to make herself coffee.
Then maybe she could have avoided Lily for longer.
But not forever, Eva supposed. It was a conversation that needed to happen sooner rather than later.
A tentative knock sounded on the door, and Eva glanced up to see one of her AP students peering through the glass.
“Dr. Thomas? Class started five minutes ago.”
Shit. Eva hadn’t noticed the time. Had there been students in the hall when Lily had stormed out? Would the rumor mill be swirling? Eva wondered what they’d come up with. Sure, kids could be creative—but the truth was so unlikely she doubted they’d ever even think of it.
“Sorry. Come on in.”
In all her years of teaching, Eva had never once shown weakness in front of a class. She was determined today would be no exception, though it took gargantuan effort to rise from her seat as her class took theirs.
“Today we’ll be continuing our journey into the wonders of cell division. Cohl, can you remind me how many pairs of chromosomes are in a mammalian cell?”
* * *
Chatter buzzed around the room in the closing stages of the class, but Lily didn’t have the heart to tell the kids to be quiet. They’d done the work, so what was the harm in letting them have five minutes at the end of the day to relax? Five minutes where she didn’t have to concentrate? Where she could stare at her laptop screen like it held all the answers in the world, while trying not to tear her hair out.
“I don’t want to be your friend, I don’t want to be your lover,” echoed in Lily’s mind on a loop, and she dug her nails into the palms of her hands. This weekend without Elsa’s messages had been hard enough, but to know no more were coming? Maybe it was naïve to think it would keep happening, that Eva could allow herself to open up, knowing Lily was on the other end of the line—but it still stung.
Lily had lost a friend, and that hurt, no matter who had been behind the screen. Didn’t it show she and Eva weren’t that different? That they could get along, if they allowed themselves to? It explained the draw they had to one another. There was something there, and it was impossible to deny it.
But Eva was trying to. Wouldn’t allow a friendship or romance to flourish, because Molly being Lily made it real in a way neither of them had been prepared for.
The bell rang, and Lily let her students go with a wave of her hand, promising herself she’d be a better teacher tomorrow. Lily knew she hadn’t been at her best, bumbling through the day with a numbness in her chest, feeling like she’d lost so much in the blink of an eye.
A knock sounded at her door, and Lily resisted the urge to hide under her desk, sure she was one conversation away from an emotional breakdown.
Mei popped her head into her classroom, a mug in one hand and a pack of cookies in the other.
“What’s this?”
“Looked like you were having a shitty day.” Mei dropped both onto Lily’s desk. “Figured you could use these.”
