“You heard me? Are you following me?”
“No.”
My eyes narrow on him. “You seem to pop up anywhere I am.”
“We are at a resort, there are only so many places you can go.”
“Like last night on the beach.”
Charlie’s brows rise at that comment. “Surprised you noticed. Mustn’t have been that good of a blow job if you were able to notice me.”
My eyes flare with anger. “Excuse you. That man has a mouth like a Hoover, he always knows how to suck me dry.” Charlie shrugs at my answer. “What is your problem?” I yell at him.
“I don’t have a problem.”
“You don’t have a problem.” I scoff as I angrily start pacing on the sand. “You buy me one of the most heartfelt Christmas presents I’ve ever received and then you fucking block me on Christmas day.”
Charlie’s hands ball into fists, then open again as if he is trying to hold back his own anger. “That sounds sad, that a stranger could give you something that others couldn’t.”
His words are like a slap. They are so cruel. My eyes flare with emotion, and I’m so shocked that I can’t control the first tear that falls down my cheek. No. He doesn’t deserve my tears. Screw him.
“Right, well, I know where we both stand then.” I suck in a deep breath and steel rod my back. “The best thing you ever didwas block me. I think it’s best if we leave it that way, don’t you?” With that, I turn and walk away.
“Fuck.” I hear him curse behind me. “This wasn’t supposed to go like this,” he yells back at me. I ignore him and continue to walk on. A growl follows. “Fucking hell, I’m a screw up.” His angry words are filled with such self-hatred that they still me. Slowly, I turn around and see him pacing angrily. He stops pacing, noticing me looking at him. “I keep fucking things up.”
“You do.” He’s surprised by my honesty.
“I’m not trying to. This is all …” He throws his hands up in the air.
“All what?”
“You don’t deserve my ire. I shouldn’t have pulled you into my life. You’re better off without me coming in and messing it up.” His words are like a stab to the chest, so raw, so haunting. “I’m an angry person, Derrick. I don’t mean to be. It was never part of my personality, but it seems like since coming home, it’s my entire personality.”
“I never felt your anger, not until I called you.”
“You, Derrick, are this great big ball of positivity, happiness, laughter, and fun, and that’s why I never wanted us to do anything more than message because you would see my darkness, my negativity, my moodiness, and you don’t deserve someone like me to drag you down. The fact that my own sister has given up her life to care for me is enough of a burden. I can’t destroy anyone else’s life.”
His self-loathing and grief hit me like a wave, and I feel nothing but sadness for him. He feels like he is still in so much pain.
“You kissed me.”
Charlie sighs. “I did.”
And?I think as silence falls between us.
“You’re the first person I’ve kissed since my accident,” he confesses.
Oh.
Charlie’s cheeks turn pink. Is he embarrassed about that? He shouldn’t be. Not that I know what he has been through, but it sounds like it was major, and he was fighting for his life.
“I’m flattered,” I tell him.
“Don’t patronize me, Derrick,” he says, getting all gloomy again.
“I’m not. I’m vain enough to be flattered that out of all the people in the world, you chose me as your first kiss. I mean, let’s be serious, I understand why, look at me.” I smirk, wiggling in front of him, lightening the mood.
“I am looking at you,” he says seriously. There’s that intensity again, and it slides over my body, making me shiver. “I was also looking at you last night … on the beach.”
