We pull up at the resort, and it’s stunning. Camryn was able to secure the entire place for the wedding so there wouldn’t be any paparazzi ruining the day.
“Aloha,” Camryn greets us as we arrive. There is a line of staff holding leis and welcome cocktails for us. I could get used to this welcome. “Isla and Finn arrived earlier and are all settled in the main house. For the rest of you, there are villas dotted along the beach.” Camryn hands us our keys. “The staff will show you where you are staying. There will be a welcome luau tonight, so we will see you all in the main pavilion in a couple of hours. Don’t worry, a map is located in your packs that are in each of your villas, which has all the important information regardingyour stay. Also, an itinerary is provided with the week’s events and times so that everyone knows where they are meant to be. Enjoy, guys, and I’ll see you tonight.”
We all scatter, join a staff member on our allocated golf carts, and head out toward our villas. This is gorgeous, the craggy volcanic rocks, the turquoise ocean, the white sand beaches, the swaying palm trees, it’s like we are back at The Paradise Club Resort, except I know the staff member helping me with my luggage isn’t going to blow me. Which makes me giggle. I take a seat on my lanai and sit in silence as I take in the gorgeous view. I can see Sienna, Evan, and the boys are in the villa next to me. Thankfully, there is some distance between us, those rug rats would wake me up at the crack of dawn. Then I see Christian, Vanessa, and their girls on the other side of me. Stacey and Oscar are in the family home, as are Jackson and his hot brothers. I grab the folder and can see that the Sons of Brooklyn boys are all staying in one villa together. I guess that means Chance is going to be sneaking into my private villa. He’ll have to be cautious because I have my girls on either side of me, and they are going to notice anything suspicious. The boys should be arriving soon, they weren’t that far behind us on their own jet, which included the California Bros. on there, too. Realization hits me, and I look around this beautiful resort. I can hear screaming from the kids, people’s voices being carried on the wind, but then there is my villa, it’s quiet. It’s just me, myself, and I in this large villa. There are two extra rooms I don’t have a need for, and that’s sad. I’m sad. Here I am hoping and waiting for a guy that I’ve given a second chance to, but I’m still in the same predicament as I was years ago.
“Derrick,” Christian calls out to me. “How fucking nice is this place, hey?”
“It’s truly beautiful.” I smile sadly, which makes my friend frown.
“Are you okay?” I shrug but don’t answer him, which pushes him to join me on the lanai. “We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, but I’m here for you if you do.”
We sit there for what feels like forever, but in reality, it’s only been five minutes, and I can’t stand the silence so Christian forces me to break it first.
“I messed up,” I confess. He still doesn’t say anything, waiting for me to elaborate. “I’ve started hooking up with Chance again.”
“Oh.” That's all he says.
“Yeah. Oh.”
“And you’re not having fun?” he questions me.
“I am, but I’ve just realized I don’t want fun anymore. I want what you guys have, stability, a partner, a family, except I keep making stupid decisions, which push me further away from what I desire.”
Christian mulls over my words. “You know there’s no hurry. Putting pressure on the situation isn’t going to make it magically happen either.”
“I know. It’s just … I’m lonely. It’s been nice to have Chance meeting me at work, having dinner, walking me home, then fucking my brains out, these past couple of weeks.”
“Sounds like it.” Christian smirks.
“I want more than sex.” I’m met with Christian’s silence again. I know he’s mulling over what to say to me, but I also want him to be truthful. “Chris, please be honest with me.”
“You know what I’m going to say, that you’re not going to find any of this with Chance.” He states. I nod. “As long as you know this and don’t have your heart set on changing him, then enjoy whatever it is you are doing with Chance. Having a sexual relationship with a friend is okay if there are no feelings involved. There are no feelings, are there?” Now it’s my turn to go silent. “Shit, D.”
“I’m not in love with him, I know that,” I argue. “But I hate the fact that he gives me butterflies. He doesn’t deserve to give me butterflies, but I can’t change how I feel. You’re disappointed in me, aren’t you?”
“Why would I be disappointed in you?” he asks.
“Because it’s Chance, and he’s hurt me before.”
Christian shakes his head. “I’m protective of you. Chance is a good guy, but I don’t think he’s a good guy to you,” he confesses. “The fact that you’re both still hiding what is going on after all these years means it’s not a good thing. You should want to be with someone who shouts it from the rooftops that they are with you. That they are proud and honored to be your person.”
He's right. My brain knows this, but my dick and heart don’t. “I feel like I’m addicted to him, and I don’t know why.”
“Maybe you’re addicted to the sneaking around?” Shit. Maybe he’s right. Am I addicted to the drama of being with Chance? “When Ness and I were sneaking around, it was hot. The element of doing something with someone that no one knows about amplifies the lust between two people.”
“I’m known for being dramatic,” I joke.
“We love that side of you, D. What I don’t like is the side of you that doesn’t think you deserve everything your heart desires. It’s scary, look what happened when I confessed my love for Ness and she rejected me. I lost my mind. Look at Evan and Sienna, he had to fly halfway across the world to get her back. Finn and Isla, you want to talk toxic, those two were fucked up for years. The back and forth, all because Finn is bisexual,” Christian says, shaking his head.
“You know about that?” I gasp.
“Um, yeah. I’ve suspected over the years. Also, he forgets that we were all members of The Paradise Club. I saw him with another man, and there was no woman between him and this other guy. I thought maybe he was just exploring because, let’sbe serious, The Paradise Club gets you horny and you try things that you never thought you would try.”
“Are you telling me you have had relations with a guy before?”
Christian smirks. “I went into that dark room, and I swear someone with big hands might have jerked me off once while I was devouring pussy. I was too far gone eating this woman out that I didn’t care who was touching me.”
“If only I’d known,” I tease, which makes Christian laugh.
