I took a deep breath. “We.” Not him, but the XanRa unit. Unwilling to have that discussion, I put my hands under each of the dragon’s little wings. “You’re a flying cyclone of destruction, part me, part Professor Holiday. But it’s time to rejoin the circle of life.”
The opening ofThe Lion Kingburst into my head. ‘Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba!’
‘What is this?’Xan asked.
I didn’t know how to respond to him, but I hoped he guessed, as the movie was still running in my background thoughts while I set the dragon down. For a moment, nothing happened, and then his back claws dissolved into the floor, followed by his legs, causing every line to glow and twist.
His wide dragon eyes said he didn’t want to go, but he understood, and he loved me anyway. Faster and faster, the Alun pulled him in until he was just gone.
I burst into tears. I hadn’t even liked the creature at first, but he’d stayed by me through everything.
‘He was better than all of us. Animals love unconditionally.’
Ezra wrapped a tentative arm around my shoulder. When I didn’t jerk away, he pulled me close and let me cry on his shirt. My outburst didn’t last long. I’d only had the dragon for a few days, even if he had been oddly adorable and utterly dedicated to me.
I pulled away from Ezra before I could make myself cry again.
“Let’s go,” I said. “Cayden needs us, whether he wants to admit it or not.”
Ezra nodded and started to move Xan’s body to my lap before hesitating. “I need to open the hatch. Are you willing—”
Ezra’s partner lay unconscious because of me. It didn’t matter what our history was. I held out my arms before he finished his sentence and cradled Xan’s head onto my thighs. I had the weirdest image of Xan seeing himself.
‘I can’t see anything unless I look out of your eyes or go back to my own body. However, I would love to know how intimate a cuddle you’re giving me.’I could picture Xan batting his eyes, like he had from across the table at breakfast.
We, mostly Ezra, lifted Xan out of the Alun and into the afternoon light. The gray sky occasionally spat a bit of rain, but the weather was otherwise what I’d come to call ‘Scottish nice,’ also known as not freezing and pissing it down.
A small horse-drawn vehicle—part truck bed, part medieval cart—waited with a handful of mounted enforcers around it. We settled Xan across the lowest section. Rowan, sitting on his massive Clydesdale, was decked out in his enforcer blacks and covered in weaponry. Mounted on his Friesian, Cayden still wore his trainee uniform. I’d never seen him with weapons before, but a crossbow hung off his waist and a sword along his back.
‘Talk to me.’Xan’s words joined my thoughts.‘Show me myself through your eyes. I want to know everything.’
I pulled my gaze away from my guys and watched Ezra tuck a thick blanket around his lover’s body. Xan was experiencing my life right now. His request sounded so simple, but it was mind-blowing.
I needed to process before I answered. Space was very limited in the cart. After a moment, I wiggled myself into a corner where I could put Xan’s head on my lap. Cayden tied his horse to the back of the cart and perched on a hump that used to protect a tire, just above my shoulders, while Everly climbed in after us. I half expected to see Brit, but she wasn’t joining us for this little adventure. Probably for the better, her muscles would scare off the remaining Lawsons.
Xan didn’t chuckle at my joke. He was still waiting for an answer.
‘I’ll start if it makes you more comfortable,’he offered.
‘It would.’I don’t know if the two words came out like that in my thoughts, but Xan got the point.
I ran my fingers through his hair as a vision of me appeared in my mind. Magic twisted around us. The cart rumbled forward. Despite the noises and the bumps, Xan’s memories became my world.
Xan’s version of me was breathlessly stunning. My hair sparkled as I trained with him in the Alun. We sat in the library, where I told him about the evil Architect trying to control me. The romance books sparkled around me as he hung off every word, even the ones that hurt.
‘Mine are not as positive,’I ‘said’ after he finished.‘I don’t know if I want to share them.’
‘I will respect whatever you want to do, but I want to understand you. I thought I’d lost you. Friend, more than a friend, or even just a stranger in my family, Quinn, the Prophet had you for three days. You shouldn’t have to bear that alone.’
His words cracked my shield. Just like in the library, tears I hadn’t realized I’d been holding back burst out of me.
“Quinn,” Cayden shuffled down, wrapped me in his arms, and rocked.
For a heartbeat, I let his strength envelop me, but then I realized I was having a conversation with another man at the same time. One Cayden hated. I tried to push out of his arms. “Um, I…”
Cayden pulled me tighter. “Xan says you need this.” He kissed my forehead. “Let me hold you while he can’t. I’ll hate him later. You need an outlet. Don’t stop because of me.”
If it was possible, I bawled even harder.
