“Yeah, right.” I rolled my eyes. “I think I missed my window. Another issue with living in the burbs… All the good ones have already been snatched up. And the ones who are still on the market? Any guy who is single and somewhat decent lives in the city or one of the boroughs. And, don’t get me started when one of them finds out I live in the sticks. It’s like, game over. The lazy bums can’t be bothered to go on a date with a girl who lives further than one subway stop from their apartments. And if they live near me, they’re usually still sleeping in their old bunk beds, scrounging off their mamas.”
Sydney ran her hands over her face. “I think you’re overexaggerating again.”
“If only I was”—I frowned—“I peaked in high school.”
She rolled her eyes. “No, you should stop being so picky,now. You don’t give anyone a chance. There are plenty of eligible men all over the place, but you find something wrong with every one of them.” Her face lit up. “Hey, check out the guy over there.” She pointed to the takeout counter. “He’s cute.”
I craned my head to look and let out a slight gasp. I turned back around to face her so fast it was a wonder I didn’t give myself whiplash. “That’s him,” I hissed.
“Who?” Sydney asked as her brown eyes grew wide when the realization hit. “Oh.” She placed a hand over her mouth. “Is that your new arch enemy?”
“Yes.” I pouted.
“Oh, can we start referring to him as Officer Hottie?”
“I hate you.” I glared at her. “Have you lost your mind? For someone who has such a handsome husband, you have horrible taste in men.”
She placed an elbow on the table and rested her head on her hands and studied me. “So, are you honestly going to sit here and tell me you don’t think the man is good looking?”
“Yes,” I said as a matter of fact.
She squeezed her thumb and forefinger together. “Not even an itsy-bitsy, teeny, tiny bit?” she asked in a sing-song voice.
“No,” I said adamantly.
Her eyes penetrated mine.
“Fine,” I said with a huff, and I slumped in my seat. He must have been off duty because he was dressed in fitted jeans and a light blue polo shirt. Speaking of crimes, biceps that muscular should be illegal. “Even if I did think the man was a wee bit cute, it wouldn’t matter. First off, Ihatehim! And second”—I paused—“he’s married.”
A wide smile overtook her face. “Hmm, so you noticed his ring finger?”
“Well, it’s hard to miss.”
She’d have to resort to physical violence to get me to admit I couldn’t help myself from glancing at his finger moments after he pulled me over. But in my defense, that was before I realized he was a swollen-headed, condescending, know-it-all jerk. “Oh, really?” The smirk on her face made me squirm.
“Oh, don’t give me that look, Syd. How can I not have noticed his hands when he’s always flashing fines in my face?”
“Yeah. Or, maybe there might be some hope for you yet.”
7
“To thinkI thought you were my friend,” I said with the sternest voice I could muster the following morning when Sydney popped her head into my office.
“What did I do now?” she asked wide-eyed as she sat opposite me and reached for the jar of M&Ms. How the woman was able to devour chocolate at eight-thirty in the morning, I’d never know.
“You’ve been holding back on me for years,” I said with a smile.
“Huh?” she said before she yawned.
“The local Facebook pages, silly. OMG, Syd! Why didn’t you tell me sooner they would be a laugh-fest?”
She flashed me a funny face.
“You should be proud!” I squealed. “I listened to you. When I got home from work last night, I sent in a membership request, which was approved like three seconds later. Clearly, the administrators have a lot of free time on their hands. Anyway, I ordered in Thai, and I started to scroll. Before I knew it, I was hooked. I seriously couldn’t stop reading. The townsfolk are crazy! Some lady posted four pictures of an empty can of soda that she found on her front lawn. Shedemandedthe litterbug return to her propertyimmediatelyto dispose of their debris properly.”
Sydney smiled. “Yeah, that sounds about right.” She chuckled. “My friend in Forest River, Jackie, was famous for using the site as her personal soapbox.”
I grinned as I remembered some of the insane stories Sydney shared about her over the years. “Yeah, I remember!” I bit my lip. “I always thought you were exaggerating, though. But now I know you were telling the truth. I was shocked, and I’m still in disbelief by some of what I read. There was this guy who posted a few words about a franchise convenience store possibly coming to town, and boom—over four hundred comments! The outrage was insane. I think the reaction was more extreme than if someone announced Satan planned to place a gateway to Hell outside the local pharmacy.”
