This is a million miles away from the tough, hard as nails woman I’ve always felt her to be at our brief Christmas meetings. Funny at how you can look at people and have one impression and then find out they are something totally different behind it all. Another useful thing to put in my bag of tricks. Don’t judge a book by its cover.
Nowyou realise this, Mildred says.
‘You’ve got it in one, Adele,’ I say.
I decide to cut the small talk: ‘Unfortunately Lexi found out through Elisa’s social media and she’s devastated.’
Adele starts crying loudly now. She sounds as if she’s talking through a tissue.
‘I didn’t know until one of the women I work with told me. I don’t keep up with Instagram. Elisa never told us. She never tells us anything. I thought we had time to figure out what to do – please, Freya,’ she begs, ‘let us see Lexi. Don’t stop us now. I love her, even though I’ve seen her so rarely.’
At this, I feel guilty.
‘William says a year between meetings is so long and her uncles are dying to see her. She’s so special. I’ll never forgive myself for letting Elisa try to take care of Lexi ... when I think of what happened in that restaurant ...’ She’s almost incoherent now. ‘I never told you this but I wanted to raise Lexi myself—’
‘You’re not losing Lexi,’ I say, surprising myself.
‘Thank you, thank you,’ sobs Adele. ‘I’ve never known how to make it better. She has a trust fund, we set it up and my aunt died and there’s this seed pearl necklace left to her that she’d love and—’
‘Lexi needs family, not money,’ I say firmly. ‘When she’s agrown-up, you can hit her with trust fund stuff and Teddy will probably play her at poker to win it off her. You need to welcome Teddy and Liam too – we have to be a family.’
I had thought this out.
‘Dan’s father is dead, mine is ...’ I pause. ‘He had a stroke, he’s not coming out of it, so Lexi’s missing a grandfather, although they have theirgreat-grandfather, Eddie, who is both fabulous and eccentric at the same time, and agreat-grandmother too. You’ll have to meet them all. You already know Betty, Dan’s mum. But now – Elisa and how to make things right for my daughter. Are we on the same page, Adele?’
‘I’ll do whatever you want,’ she says tearfully. ‘I don’t know what to say to you, Freya, except that I’m so sorry. You must have thought we were the worst parents in the world to bring up Elisa the way she was but the boys are great, they have families, they have responsibilities. They are such fine men except that Elisa was always wild and—’
I interrupt her.
‘Adele,’ I say calmly, ‘I’m not ringing to fight with you or to demand to know why you didn’t do x or y so that Elisa would turn out in a particular way. Let’s just deal with what we have got to deal with. Lexi is a very young fourteen. She is having a very hard time with Elisa never admitting she had another child first. Now Elisa is saying this pregnancy is the most amazing thing to ever happen to her. I tried to explain to Lexi that when Elisa got pregnant the first time she was very young, very immature and now she’s ready to have a baby and that feels like the first time for her.’
‘I understand.’
‘Adele, I don’t know if I can ever trust Elisa, but let’s try and make this as right as we can.’
‘OK.’
She is definitely crying again, I realise.
Adele insists we come to her for lunch.
‘Please,’ she says. ‘I want you to see us here, let Lexi know that she is our beloved granddaughter, not just an hour at Christmas in a restaurant.’
‘That sounds good.’
Elisa, who has been busy with her social media and posing, sticking her skinny belly out, for society shots in newspapers, has not been in touch with Lexi since news of her pregnancy broke.
Lexi is tearful sometimes so we’re spending a lot of time together. She’s missed a few days of ballet and she’s helping me with my new cookbook.
Pain in Your Heart Vegan Quiche!’ she says, finally coming up with the name for our newest dish.
‘I likeI Wish I Hadn’t Done That But Hey, What’s Done Is Done salad,’ I say, checking my quinoa to make sure it’s fluffy enough.
‘Thank you for helping me,’ I say to Lexi, ‘it’s so much more fun when you’re here.’
She beams at me. ‘I love being here,’ she says. ‘Can we haveNo, YouDon’tUnderstand How I Feelchicken nuggets for dinner?’
‘How aboutInsomnia Salmon, I say?’ and feel the familiar ache of guilt.
