Smiling, she lifted a shoulder. “The mess will always get in the way. Sometimes it’s about finding the right person to help you clean it up.”
Apprehension pinched his expression. He reached for her then pulled back. “I don’t want to hurt you, Eve. I’d never forgive myself.”
“We can’t promise that we’ll never hurt each other. Even if we walk into the sunset, hand in hand, determined to face the future together. Life happens, mistakes are made and people get hurt. That’s just the way the world works. But we can promise to try our hardest, to keep open and honest communication, and to be the best versions of ourselves every day.”
Swishing his lips to the side, he finally met her gaze. “I don’t know if I want kids. I’m not sure if I can risk passing down all the issues I’ve battled to some innocent little baby. If that’s something you need to complete you, I can’t promise that’s something I can give.”
“Just because I may want a baby one day, or even a husband, doesn’t mean I need either to complete me. My life is filled with so much joy and friendship and happiness that I’ve created. That I’ve nurtured. No matter where I end up, or who comes into my life, it will all be extra. That delicious icing on what I hope is a chocolate cake.”
“I want to believe you. I want to believe that everything you said is the truth.” He squeezed the bridge of his nose. “I’ve spent so long in this dark place, I’m not sure how to leave it behind.”
“I’m not sure you can. I think it’s about learning to let in a little bit of light every day until those places don’t seem as dark anymore.”
He drew in a shuddering breath. “Anyone ever tell you how smart you are?”
“All the time,” she said, grinning.
Hooking an arm around her waist, he pulled her onto his lap and pressed his lips to hers. “Thank you for listening. Thank you for being you.”
“No matter what, I’m always here for you, Reid.” She rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes.
His heart beat a steady rhythm against her ear. His breathing evened. “Can we just sit like this for a little a while?”
“You can hold me for as long as you want.” She’d stay cuddled against him for the rest of her life if he’d let her, but this wasn’t the time to say it. She didn’t expect one conversation to shift his entire way of thinking. He’d taken a huge step by sharing so much with her, and hopefully each day would bring another baby step for him on his path to healing.
And if he let her, she’d be by his side for every single one of them.
Chapter 22
If Reid could choose one moment to freeze forever, it’d be this one. Sitting on the couch with Eve in his arms, a feeling of peace and contentment slicing through the turmoil that had eaten him up for so many years.
She was right. This was just the first, very big step. One that he’d needed more than he realized.
One that he prayed would take him to a better place, where he could truly believe in a future with Eve.
He rested his forehead on hers and breathed her in. Filled every fiber of his being with her essence, her kindness, her compassion. “I needed this. Needed you to drag it out of me. Tara’s the only one I talk about this shit with, and that’s mostly trying to convince her to let our dad pay for his mistakes. She means well, and I know she loves him, but part of her help just turns into enabling, leaving her the one screwed in the end.”
“It’s hard not to help the ones we love, even if that help ends up doing more bad than good. What led to Tara’s breaking point?” As she spoke, she traced her fingertips against his arm, twisting the tiny hairs with the motion.
But he didn’t mind. She could touch him anywhere and he’d be happy. “Dad was in rehab—again—and left early. He showed up at her place, stole money, then split.”
“Poor Tara.”
“And if that’s not bad enough, her jackass boyfriend gave her a hard time and their relationship ended. The guy’s a dick, alwayshas been, but I can’t blame him for getting fed up with my dad’s toxic bullshit. I just hate that Tara was hurt.”
“She’s strong and has you for support,” Eve said. “Maybe we can all help her see Cloud Valley would be a great place to live.”
His heart sputtered and his already intense feelings for Eve grew higher than the mountain in the backyard. “I’d love nothing more. But no more talk about Tara or my dad or my childhood.”
She cupped the back of his neck with her palm and drew herself closer. “What do you have in mind?”
Capturing her mouth, he slid his hand down her slender thigh, his body tingling with every curve and dip he explored. And hell, it was just her leg. Excitement beat triple time in his veins at what else was left to uncover.
His fingers smashed against something cold and lumpy. “Um, we might have to put this on pause.”
Frowning, she pulled back and studied his face. “Absolutely. We can take things as slow as you need.”
He chuckled and showed her the bits of potatoes he’d found clinging to her pants. “The timing isn’t the issue.”
