It had only worsened after he allowed Devony to drink from his vein while she still had faith in him. Was this helpless feeling love?
“I must be crazy, right? I must be fucking nuts to feel like this about Devony when I’ve only known her for a handful of days.”
Tavia smiled. “You’ll have to ask someone other than me. In fact, you’ll have to look further than this city. I don’t think there’s anyone under this roof, or any other Order command center around the world—including your parents—who needed more time than you and Devony have had to know in their hearts they’d met their mate.”
As much as he wanted to take some solace in that, what it meant was he had a lot of explaining to do. And a lot of making up.
He only hoped Devony would give him that chance.
First, he needed to inform his commander and Lucan that starting now, they were going to have to trust her as he did.
On his way out the door, Tavia reached out and gave his beard-grizzled cheek a reassuring caress. “I know Sterling isn’t happy with you right now, but I can’t thank you enough for looking after my niece. For loving her. The rest will fall into place as it should, you’ll see.”
He wasn’t so sure about that, but he nodded. She accompanied him as he continued to the command center’s war room.
He’d been expecting the meeting to be between Chase and him in Boston, with Lucan and Gideon on video from headquarters in D.C. That was the case, but in addition, all but two seats at the large conference table were filled. Tavia walked in and took the one immediately beside the commander.
Elijah and Jax sat with Nathan and Jordana on one side of Chase, the lone vacant chair situated between the commander and Rafe’s captain. On the other side of the table from Chase was the team commander from London, Mathias Rowan. He hadn’t brought his pregnant mate, Nova, but her brother, Rune, was seated beside his blood-bonded mate, Carys Chase.
And displayed on the large panel screens around the war room were all of the photographs, notes, and data files Rafe had collected while he was at Devony’s brownstone a few nights ago.
Considering the originals were now nothing but cinders among the rubble of her home, he probably should be grateful to see the information now. Instead the guilt he’d felt upon leaving Devony in the guestroom a few minutes ago only settled more coldly in his gut.
Every bit of intel she had shared with him in confidence felt like a betrayal to see it here now.
Sick with the feeling, he hardly noticed all of the conversations had halted now that he had arrived. Expectant, unreadable gazes watched him from all points of the room.
Chase indicated the empty chair. “Come in and have a seat, Rafe.”
He walked in, the silence around him feeling as heavy as a shroud.
As he sat down, Nathan gave him a sober, sidelong glance. Right before a rare smirk twisted his stern mouth. “You asshole. Do you have any idea how close I came to killing you the other night?”
Rafe exhaled and looked at his commander for confirmation.
“I’ve told them,” Chase said.
The war room erupted with a few chuckles and a lot of ball-busting. Rafe took it all, glad for every insult and good-natured jab they flung at him. The weight of the past few weeks—the months following his disgrace in Montreal—melted away in the space of a few seconds.
Jax and Eli got up from their seats at the table and walked up to him, both grinning and shaking their heads.
Eli punched him in the shoulder. “It’s a damn relief to know you’re not the fucked up maniac I thought you were.”
“Don’t be so sure about that,” Rafe quipped, smiling at his teammate.
Jax held his hand out to him. “Welcome back, bro. Even if I still want to kick your ass right now.”
Rafe cocked a grin. “I’d like to see you try.”
Carys and Rune came over now too. The stern former cage fighter who was her mate gave Rafe’s hand a hard pump. “Not a day’s gone by that she hasn’t worried about you.”
He glanced at Carys, who’d been like a sister to him his entire life. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t say anything to anyone.”
“I don’t care,” she said, throwing her arms around him. “You’re back where you belong now, and that’s all that matters to me.”
Mathias Rowan approached as well. The London commander had been a part of the Order’s inner circle for two decades, a stoic ally through numerous battles and catastrophes. Now, there was a sober, almost parental look in his gaze. No doubt, the father-to-be was thinking about his own son on the way, one who might eventually wish to follow in his footsteps as a warrior for the Order.
Mathias gripped Rafe’s shoulder. “Chase told me what happened in that warehouse earlier tonight. The liquid UV.” He shook his head on a low curse. “It’s damn good to see you standing here with us tonight, Rafe.”
