A ridiculous thing to hope for, and selfish too.
Yet that didn’t make her want it any less.
Knowing Aric would be on the plane with the rest of the Order when they returned home to D.C. didn’t make her want him any less, either.
Particularly when he was looking at her with steady eyes that smoldered with dark promise.
Kaya mentally shook herself out of her pointless yearning and pivoted back to the photographs. “Who do you suppose will be named the baby’s godparents?”
“Rio and Dylan,” he answered without hesitation. “There was never a doubt about that. Niko and Rio’s friendship goes back twenty years, back when the Order had only a handful of warriors and was based in Boston.”
She glanced at him as he moved in closer, joining her at the table. “Boston,” she remarked. “That’s where your father’s family is from.”
He nodded. “The Chases have been in that city for countless generations.”
“But you’re heading to Seattle now that you’ve been promoted up to warrior?”
“Eventually,” he said. “Ideally, I want to be wherever the action is. Wherever I can best serve the Order.”
Kaya looked back at the images of all those wealthy, happy people. People who could make their own futures, choose their own destinies. People who weren’t tied down by poverty or neglect or choices that would saddle them for all their lives. People like Aric, who held the world by the tail simply by virtue of his birth.
“What do you want, Kaya?”
She didn’t dare look at him. She, the girl who taught herself to fear nothing, now stood there terrified that she might let him see how afraid she was of wanting him.
She shook her head, hoping he’d let the question go.
But this was Aric Chase she was dealing with. He was as tenacious and determined as she was. He reached out and gently caught her chin on the tips of his fingers. “Tell me.”
“I used to think I wanted to see the world,” she murmured, recalling how desperately she prayed for wings to fly her out of the hell of her childhood. “I wanted to be anywhere but this city. As far as I could go. One adventure after another.”
His smile was tender, his nod mild with understanding. “And now?”
“I don’t know.”
“I think you do.” His palm glided along the line of her jaw, his long fingers splaying into her hair. “Tell me.”
A strangled moan escaped her before she could call it back. “Aric . . . I can’t.”
“Then tell me why you can’t.”
She closed her eyes. “Why are you doing this to me?”
“Because I think something’s got you terrified, and it’s not me.” His caress gave her no choice but to open her eyes and meet his smoldering gaze. “I don’t know what’s going on in that beautiful, stubborn head of yours but I want you to know that you can tell me, Kaya. You can trust me.”
“Trust you? I hardly know you.” The protest sounded weak, despite the force with which she pushed it past her lips.
“You really want me to believe you feel that way? Because I’ve been trying to convince myself that’s how I feel about you, and it’s not working. Not one damned bit.”
Her heart leapt at his confession. She could not allow this hope to bloom, though. Not when the secret of her past was all but certain to crush anything Aric felt for her, along with his trust.
Yet she couldn’t move.
She couldn’t speak, neither to confirm nor deny what he was saying.
She stood there, torn between wanting him to kiss her and knowing she should push him away. But she couldn’t push him away. Inside she was a mess, and Aric was the only thing grounding her.
He stroked his fingers along the side of her neck, his penetrating gaze locked on her. “Tell me again that you hardly know me. That you really feel there’s nothing between us.”
