For one of the first times in her life, she had behaved like a coward.
Yet there was a part of her that was profoundly relieved that her sister had escaped the Order’s discovery. And their wrath.
Kaya knew her day of reckoning was coming. She had been preparing herself for that moment earlier tonight, before Nikolai had come down to the war room and informed her and Aric that they had both finally made the grade as warriors. Kaya should have been celebrating the achievement she’d worked so hard to earn. Instead she’d ridden to Angus Mackie’s bar feeling as though she were on her way to the gallows.
Then, when she’d finally shored up her courage to try again, her blurted request to meet privately with the commander was thwarted by the urgent arrival of his son.
She exhaled a humorless laugh, miserable with the irony of it all.
And if she were headed for her grave as far as the Order was concerned, it was a hole she alone had dug for herself. Fear of being rejected by the only people who’d ever showed her any kindness had kept her silent about her past and the people in it. Now it was that fear and silence that would ensure she’d lose this new family she cared for so deeply.
Including Aric.
Although to be fair, he wasn’t hers. Imagining a world where he might be only made the regret and futile longing inside her worsen.
How had the arrogant Order prince she was certain she’d despise turn out to be the only man who had ever gotten close enough to see past the steep walls she’d built around her heart? How could she be in danger of losing her heart to a man who couldn’t wait to leave her in his rearview mirror?
How could she crave Aric Chase regardless of all those things?
Kaya slowly shook her head. “Because I’m a fool, that’s why.”
The kettle began to whistle, pulling her thoughts away from dreams she’d never so much as pretended she would ever have until she met Aric. Kaya poured the boiling water, staring into the twisting plume of tea-infused steam that rose up over the rim of her mug.
She had no more time to waste on soft feelings and foolish fantasies. As soon as the fervor over the baby’s arrival and the visiting warriors were gone, she and Nikolai would have their talk. And then, she was certain, her short career with the Order would be over. Before that happened, she wanted to do something useful with the time she had left.
She couldn’t be more disappointed in herself, but she’d be damned if she failed the Order any further by letting up on her mission to identify the Opus member she’d linked to Stephan Mercier.
Mug of hot tea in hand, she walked over to the large kitchen table where she’d laid out printed photos and a tablet containing image and video files from the wedding. Aric had helped her narrow the search considerably since they started, but there was still hours of work ahead. Possibly days.
Her heavy sigh was met by a subtle shift in the air behind her. Although Aric was silent, a born predator, the power of his presence registered within her senses like a physical caress.
“Quite a night,” he said, his deep voice a vibration she felt in her veins.
“Yes, it has been.” Kaya pivoted to look at him as he approached.
They had both changed out of their patrol gear. Gone were his black fatigues, in their place he wore low-slung workout pants and a dark tank that showcased his strong arms and shoulders while clinging to every ridge and muscle of his magnificent torso.
Kaya nearly groaned at the way she ached just looking at him. Her skin felt tight and hot beneath her loose clothing. She had opted for comfort as well, dressed in yoga pants and an oversized T-shirt that Balthazar had loaned her a week ago after one of their paint-gun training sessions ruined hers. Her comrade hadn’t asked for it back, and while she’d thought nothing of wearing it when she put it on tonight, seeing Aric’s gaze narrow disapprovingly on the warrior-sized garment made her cheeks flush with unwanted heat.
And her face wasn’t the only thing suddenly growing too warm as he came to stand beside her.
She cleared her throat. “How are the new parents doing?”
“I just left the infirmary a few minutes ago,” he said, his sensual mouth curving in a smile. “Renata’s already up and on her feet. Which is good, because Nikolai’s legs still look a little shaky.”
Kaya laughed, trying to picture the fearsome Siberian-born warrior as anything less than in full command of any situation. Much like the handsome Breed male currently at her side.
“Mira told me she thought Niko was going to pass out after he delivered the baby. I didn’t realize he and Renata would be handling the birth on their own.”
Aric nodded. “Rafe was on standby in case anything went wrong and they needed a healer, but complications are rare among the Breed. It’s up to the parents to decide who they want in the room with them. For a lot of couples, births are as sacred and intimate as their blood bond.”
“Is that how it was with your parents?”
His grin deepened. “Once you meet them, you won’t need to ask. They should be here anytime now.”
Kaya swallowed, her stomach lurching at the idea that she would soon be standing in the same room with his mother and father and several other Order elders and their mates when the time came to present the baby and announce his name. Mira had filled her in on the basic details of the ritual the Breed practiced following the birth of a child, and Kaya couldn’t deny that she was excited to be part of it.
The arriving Order leaders would be meeting her as a member of the Montreal team, a distinction that she felt honored to hold no matter how temporary it might end up being. But most of her anxiety stemmed from the simple fact that she wanted Aric’s parents to like her.
