Silence is my answer.
I don’t want to think about what will happen if she chooses him and I am cast aside with no one to hold.
“I am too old to go home. I have been dead to my family for too long…and I have gotten used to being banished.” He turns his head. “She watches you.”
“Only because she knows me.”
“Everyone who knows you, likes you. You will make a good mate.”
“Wecan make good mates.” I reach for him, but there is no shift in his energy at my touch. No welcome or joy.
“I am aware your tribe does that, but I do not understand how that will work. I do not think I can be a good mate to a woman.” He glances at me. “I don’t know another life. You are young. You need to take this chance.”
I press my teeth together.
He’s right, I should take the chance. With Edilk and Sunif both mated, when we cross the sea, they will return to their tribes. Our tribe of banished warriors will fragment without them.
The life I have known since they found me, is no longer.
It was gone the moment we took the women. None of us had stopped to think about what it might mean. We’d acted on instinct to save them from the screaming creature.
Perhaps I should’ve been less friendly toward Bridget. Then she’d hate me and Vari wouldn’t be talking like this. As though we no longer matter.
My throat thickens and for a moment, I can’t breathe. I force the words out instead of keeping them silent. “We’re not going to share a blanket anymore, are we?”
He closes his eyes.You have been like a mate to me, but you need to be a mate to her.
My eyes sting. If I hated her, this would be so much easier. But I don’t. I enjoy being with her and I don’t know if that’s because it is what I want or if it is what my body craves.
She will not fuck me.
Vari gives a soft laugh.I doubt you will miss that after going through the rut.
He’s wrong, but I don’t say it. Instead I move closer, pulling the blanket around us both so I can enjoy the rest of the night in his arms. Sleep takes a while to come because I need to plan a way for Bridget to accept us both, and for Vari to want to be a part of that. It’s then I realize I’m only considering what I want.
Not what they want.
Vari doesn’t want to be a second mate to her.
And she doesn’t want two either.
Only I do.
And that hurts far more than it should.
When I wake to the soft dawn and the chatter of cloud-seekers, I am alone, and the fire is nothing but ashes.
5
BRIDGET
It’s sunlight cutting through the leaves of the shelter that wakes me. For a few moments, I lie there listening to the odd sounds the animals make. I’m still not used to it. I’m used to the hum of the ship and voices.
I can’t hear anyone.
I sit up, terrified that I’ve been abandoned.
Three of the guys are near the fire. Edilk and Sabine have left their things near the small fire near me. It still burns, so it’s clearly been tended all night..
