I’m not alone, but the conversation the aliens are having is silent.
I wrap my arms around my knees and watch them for a while. They are eating and nodding. Vari runs his fingers through his hair and shrugs while Yva strokes his chin as though they are considering some deep issue.
Oh. I’m the issue they’re talking about.
My cheeks heat. As soon as they notice I’m awake, will they all clamor for my attention? I’ve had flings and fleeting crushes, but I never expected a man to be so interested in me that he’d only want to be with me. There are too many women in the colony for that.
This is the reverse.
On the ship it was women preening for male attention, with the aliens it is the men. Each of them wanting to be chosen. The pressure makes it hard to breathe.
How am I supposed to choose?
Selecting a partner wasn’t something I ever had to think about in the colony. The father of my children was going to be selected based on genetics. The colony will then help raise them and that structure would continue for a couple of generations until more ships arrive, or until it is deemed that the colony has sufficient numbers.
Some people found love and formed a partnership, but I never expected it to happen the way Mia did. Well, at least she now has a guy who is devoted to her, even if he is an alien.
I find the aliens intriguing, not terrifying. But I worry about things that I took for granted. And the things I need to learn, like how to swim. Crossing the ocean on that tiny craft is not something I am looking forward to even though I have travelled the skies. My gaze lifts and my stomach rumbles.
With a sigh, I force myself up. I take a few minutes to finger comb my hair, which needs washing, and then crawl out of the shelter. The men watch me, but I ignore them as I walk behind the shelter and into the trees.
I take my time, missing running water and showers and shampoo. I squeeze my eyes shut and take a few deep breaths. I haven’t fallen apart yet, and I won’t.
There is no point in being upset about things I can’t change. This is my life now. I will make it work. While I am not a sanitation engineer, I will fucking figure it out. I will make my life comfortable.
But before I do that, I need to sort out the mate situation.
Which means choosing.
While I’m sure that any alien I choose will be honored, I want more than biology and duty. I had that before.
Now I have the chance to choose something different.
And I need to work out what that means to me, and how I want it to feel.
I envy the way Sabine and Mia had it land in their laps.
I stride toward the fire to claim my breakfast. The three aliens stare as I stalk toward them, and their eyes widen as if they are terrified of me, even though I only reach their shoulders.
They are big and muscled. Their markings dark against their skin.
Yva scoops something out of the pot on the fire and offers me a bowl and spoon. “I hope you slept well. Have some…”
The device doesn’t translate what is in the bowl. It’s looks like some kind of porridge, though it’s not made of grains. It’s more like runny mashed potato and doesn’t look appetizing.
“I did. Thank you.”
They’re all watching as though expecting me to announce who I’ve chosen. I lift my eyebrows, waiting for one of them to say something. “I will not be rushed into choosing and if you keep looking at me as though expecting an answer, I will take even longer.”
Vari and Yva look at Hrad for translation of what I said.
I don’t trust him to tell the truth.
I put the bowl on the log next to me and hold out my hands. “Yva. Vari.”
They step closer and clasp a hand each. I repeat what I just said out loud, knowing that they’ll also be able to understand from my thoughts. Orik showed me that. Then I release them and pick up my bowl.
Hrad presses his lips together, and it’s hard to tell if he’s annoyed or amused. I smile at him, showing the smallest sliver of teeth in warning.
