More if I stall until we cross the sea, but I can see how that will create tension among the guys if we are all squished on the ship together.
“Are you done?” Vari asks.
“I am.”
“To the mouth of the river to rinse the salt from your hair and skin, and then I’ll show you how to wash your clothes.”
My dismay must have shown on my face.
“How did you think they were going to get clean?”
On the colony ship, I placed them in a bag and dropped them down the laundry chute. Three days later, the bag would be hung on my door.
“I’ve never done laundry.” Even though we’d landed, we still dropped off our clothes to be cleaned.
“Then you will learn. It’s not hard. But if you want them to last, don’t scrub stains too hard.”
We leave the shadow of the ship and wade to the mouth of the river, staying closer to the shore where the current isn’t as strong. The sand becomes pebbles and the plants are slippery underfoot.
But where I wobbled and worried when I first waded out, my steps are sure. On the beach, the clean and dirty clothes wait. I rinse my hair in the chilly river water, then he grabs my dirty clothes and waits for me in the shallows.
“Sit.” Vari pulls up a plant that grows in the river. It’s the same kind that I used to wash my hair. “The same as when you washed your hair and body.”
By the time I’m done, I’m cold and looking forward to standing by the fire. I glance over my shoulder. None of the other guys are there. Are they finding food for later or giving me space?
Only Mia and Sabine remain, and they might be waiting to talk to me.
Orik still hasn’t shown his face.
I look up at Vari, who’s standing nearby not to supervise but to guard. “Are you worried about Orik?”
He takes a breath before answering. “Are you?”
“Yes. On his own, he might be attacked by an animal.” I don’t want him to be killed. “Will you go and search for him?”
“I know where he is.” He lifts his hand and points with his fist, the way they do. Anything with a raised hand is done with closed fingers to indicate there is no charge. I see a fist as a threat, even though I understand the difference.
“He’s hurting.” And no doubt unable to bring himself to face anyone. Least of all me, since I am the cause of his pain.
Vari nods and sighs. “As am I.”
8
ORIK
Iwould like to claim I am not jealous of Vari, but it’s a lie. Watching Bridget spend time with Vari hurts in a way I didn’t expect. I should be glad she is getting to know him. That she is considering him. She should choose him. He is a good mate.
He is kind and thoughtful. A good lover and a good hunter. He will take care of her the way he took care of me. It is me who isn’t enough. There is nothing else I could’ve done when he would rather a woman than me. He could’ve had both.
I want both. I need to believe it’s not too late. That somehow they will decide they need more.
But they do not touch and there is no sign that they are anything more than friends. Maybe she isn’t considering him and my sight is clouded with hope.
With a sigh, I lower my gaze to the ground, disgusted that I even stooped to spying, even as I’d been unable to resist.
I can’t stay away from camp for much longer or they will all think I am sulking.
Which I am.
