“You have sailed before,” Hrad says to her.
Bridget shakes her head.
“Can you swim?”
“No. That’s going to be a problem as none of us can.”
Sabine glances back at us. “We need to learn.”
“We need to learn more than how to swim.” This is my future, all laid out. I am not equipped for life on a ship or sitting around a campfire eating whatever the fuck they killed. “I don’t think I can do this.”
“It’s this or death. I know what I’m choosing,” Bridget mutters.
“Have you decided who?”
She cuts me a glare like I’ve shared another secret.
“There is much to discuss,” Vari says. “We found gol and brewed some for your return—though we did not think we would be celebrating mates and mourning Tiril, Sunif and Aldit.”
“They aren’t dead.” Sunif couldn’t be dead. He’ll return and then…and then I’ll choose him to make things right. I don’t want him to suffer, the same way he didn’t want me to suffer when he learned I didn’t want to choose. He was protecting me, even though being close to me and sharing my blanket hurt him.
“They aren’t here to tell their tale,” Orik says. “We mourn the loss of their wisdom. If they return, we will celebrate again.” His lips quirk up and there is a glint in his eyes. As he walks past me, his hand brushes mine.He is close.Do not worry.
17
Sunif
They have reached the ship safely. There is no need for me to be watching. Yet I can’t force myself to leave. I need to see her, and the longer I sit, the more I want to be the one filling up her cup or offering her more food. I need to be proving that I will be a good mate if I am given a chance.
I know what I need to do to fix the rift between us…and while I cannot walk away, I cannot get up either.
You are an asshole.Edilk says.Sabine told me to tell you that. And that Mia has been crying.
When I saw him walk away from the fire, I knew the next thing he would do was reach for me. And he found me. I should have sat further away, but then I wouldn’t be able to see Mia.
I am trapped in a net of my own making, and the only way to be free is to destroy one of the ropes. I am not that terrible that I hope she has been crying for me.
They all know the truth, and none wish to cast you out of the tribe.He adds, as though it will change my mind.
My leg stings and I realize I have been mindlessly scratching to push away the hunger to mate. I have caught myself many times today doing something that should be painful, but is not. At least not until I stop. I am seeking relief, but the only person who can help is Mia.
If she still wants to.
And if she doesn’t, then I can return to the woods and be alone. The only thing I am saving by not returning to the ship is the small amount of pride I hold onto. Rejoining them means facing up to the mistakes of my past, to the half-truths I told, and confronting the real risk that Mia does not want me.
I glance up at the sky, now burnished red with the setting sun and for a few heartbeats I am tempted to wait until nightfall to sneak into camp and speak to Mia alone. But I have hidden from the truth and been a coward for too long.
If I am to die of the rut, then I will do it knowing that I tried to be better this time.
If you do not hurry, Vari and Orik will claim the ship so they may claim each other in privacy.
Fine.I stand and shake out my legs.I am surprised they are not putting on a display for Bridget.
They have started to drop hints but will wait for her to ask.
Will she? Human women do not understand our ways. I stride through the scrub to where Edilk is leaning against a tree waiting for me.
Why have you not claimed the ship?I thought Edilk would have been keen on being with Sabine.
