I am content at the moment. You are glowing bright enough that it hurts my eyes. How do you fare?
My skin hurts, my blood is jagged, and my meq and sacks are heavy and painful. I am either furious at myself or furious at the world. But the anger is borne of frustration.
I lift my lip and growl.
Edilk considers me for several breaths.You could have trusted me sooner with the truth. We are friends…we could’ve had more than empty blankets.
He doesn’t need to say anything else for me to know how much my lies wounded him.
I didn’t know how to tell you. I was afraid. I draw in a breath.I am afraid.
He holds out his arm for me.That fear kept us all alive. Why you decided to support me in following the star, I do not know.
I step into his embrace, despite the pain his touch causes, knowing that he has forgiven me.Because it seemed a good way to die.
You need to remember how to live, not for a tribe that believes you to be dead, but for yourself and for the woman who might still be your mate. Though once Hrad starts singing, you might be too late.Edilk releases me.Go, I will finish my walk around.
With him watching I begin the walk to the fire where the others all sit, feasting and drinking gol. The moment they see the glowing of my marks, the conversation halts and everyone stares at me.
My gaze is locked on Mia. She sits with Bridget. Next to Bridget are Vari and Orik and on the other side of Mia are Hrad and Yva and Sabine. They are too close to her. A growl lodges in my throat, but I swallow it. I need to prove myself to my mate, not tear my brothers apart for looking after her because I was not ready to face them.
I am not invited to sit, so I stand on the other side of the fire.
“Mia, you are correct. I am an asshole. I am more coward than warrior. Too afraid to look at myself and what I did. I hid for years and would have continued to do so had you not made me look.” I take a breath, wishing I could say these words silently to her, but perhaps it is better that everyone hears and knows. “You do not glow with a charge, yet you are filled with a spark of curiosity that lit me.”
Orik smothers a laugh.
I did not mean to make a joke, but he is young enough that everything is amusing. He carries no scars.
I take two steps around the fire, moving closer to Mia. “I do not want a fake mate. I want a real mate. I want you.”
Yva stands, fingers spread as a charge forms. “You cannot choose. That is not how it is done.”
“This is not a choosing, he is asking for forgiveness,” Orik says as he also stands ready to defend me.
I draw in a breath, knowing it may be my last. “No. I am choosing Mia.”
Mia gasps.
Sparks dance between Yva’s fingers. Orik tilts his head as if he is concerned that my mind has broken and that supporting me may not be a wise move.
Yva’s aggression feeds mine, but if I fight him, I will lose Mia, so I drop to my knees with my fingers pointing at the ground. The rage inside of me boils. I need to fight, or fuck.
Or bleed.
I crave release more than I need to breathe.
“Being with you made me realize that living to return my family’s honor is hollow and offers no nourishment. I did not live for me because I worried what my brothers will think. I feared they will judge me for the mistakes I made before I was banished. But I would much rather be judged for this mistake. For doing what a warrior shouldn’t and asking you to be my mate. At the moment, I can’t give you a hot bath, or a proper bed, but I vow that I will find a way to give you both.” There is nothing else I can say.
“This is not right,” Yva says. “He is too far gone. The rut has stolen his good sense.”
Mia stands and walks toward me. “You don’t want me just because I can ease your rut?”
“No. I want you because you showed me what it was like to live. Neither of us ever expected or wanted this, but we can walk the path together. If you will have me as your mate.” My pulse thuds in my ears as I wait for her answer.
If she says no, perhaps Yva will kill me. That is the only kindness I can hope for.
Mia considers me, then she reaches out and touches my cheek.I will be your mate.
