“And the women have them too?”
“Yes. Why wouldn’t they?”
“I thought you might lock them up to keep them safe.”
I laugh. “No woman would accept a man who wanted to lock them up. A mated woman, and man, have a mark here.” I touch just beneath her collar bone. “So their hearts may talk silently.”
She places her hand over mine. “That’s kind of sweet.”
The sky is losing its pinkish tint as morning fades to day. I scan the area again, seeking danger, but there is nothing out there.
In that moment, with her between my legs and leaning against me, I want nothing more than to be her mate. To feel the sting of the mark, and to hear her silently calling out my name as I claim her. That was never my plan. It shouldn’t be my plan.
What if we never leave this place?
We don’t have to return across the sea.
We can stay and live our lives until our childless tribe dies out. I try to imagine what it would be like to build a home, to not have to always be watching for the warriors from other tribes who seek us out for sport, or some imagined threat.
Other banished may be, but my brothers and I, we have avoided other tribes—aside from when we decided we needed a ship and even then we didn’t kill. We planned our raid carefully, the same way we planned them if we needed other supplies.
Beneath the blanket, my hand drifts lower to her lap. I am aware of the way her ass is pressed against the hard length of my meq. I want to keep sitting here, holding her, but the longer I do, the more I want.
She wriggles as though sensing that it’s time for her to move. Her friend will wake soon. My hand drops lower to the hot junction of her thighs. I expect her to pull away or to say something, but she doesn’t.
I know it doesn’t mean she wants to mate—and I would make her say it to be sure. But no one can go from no pleasure to mating the same day as there is no chance to explore and try things.
Her legs part a little. Enough that I could dip my fingers between her thighs. I don’t move though. I don’t know what she wants, or what she is doing. Is it a test to see if I will keep my word, or does she want me to touch her so she can see if I would be a good mate?
I press my lips to her temple.I need to know what you want.
I do not know what I want. It would be better if she wasn’t sitting with me, but that would be odd as we are supposed to be mates. I know my reaction is due to proximity. She is prickly and doesn’t want an alien, but she came to me this morning to drink in the first few drops of sunlight.
Mia is motionless in my arms, and I expect her to stand and walk away. I feel her mind jumbling like a river over rocks. It’s not safe to be in the turmoil. I need to remember that she is newly banished and all the anguish that brings. She is trying to find her place, and even though she is welcome in our tribe, it is not what she wants. No one wants to be banished.
“I’m sharing my blanket with you,” she says eventually.
“I can see that.”
She moves her hips, and her ass grinds against my meq. My mind struggles to remember what it felt like to have another’s hand on me, what it was like to sink into a woman. My body remembers the pleasure.
“I’ve never done this…I don’t know what to do,” she whispers.
I want to fuck her. I am already in rut so it’s not as if it will change anything for me—except for the sweet relief of sating the need. I imagine it will be sweet, anyway. “I will not fuck you if you aren’t my mate,” I murmur near her ear. “But there are other things.”
“Will it make it worse for you?”
“Why do you care?”
“I don’t want you to lose your mind because of a chemical reaction to being close to a woman. It’s not like we chose this.”
It’s a reminder that she does not want me as a mate. I need to hold that thought close, because it will remind me I do not want her either. But it is clear I cannot live around women because they bring on the rut.
I curse my younger self for crossing that line, and for thinking that we could change the minds of the leader. I was a fool then, and I am a fool now.
8
Mia
