She clasped her hands in her lap, her fingers twining together. "Lillian told me the story last night. About you and Naomi. And what you offered to do for her and little Mary Ellen."
Jonah swallowed hard, his expression shuttering. "Did she now."
"I just wanted you to know that your actions, they were the mark of a truly honorable man. It took a strength of character, a selflessness, to make such an offer. And then, when Eric returned, to step back and let them be a family." She shook her head, at a loss for words to describe the admiration welling inside her.
Jonah was silent, his gaze fixed forward, forest blocking the horizon.
She soldiered on, the words tumbling out in a rush. "What I'm trying to say is, I understand if your heart still rests with Naomi. And I don't want you to feel beholdento…to anything that might have passed between us. Your friendship is important to me, and I’ll be moving on soon anyway."
The silence stretched tight. Then Jonah turned to face her, his blue eyes intense. "It doesn't bother you that Naomi rejected me?"
She gaped at him. "Are you joking? I can't believe she let you go. What woman wouldn't leap at the chance to…" She broke off, heat flooding her cheeks at what she'd nearly said.
Jonah was still staring at her, an unreadable expression on his face. Slowly, deliberately, he set aside the basket. "Patsy…”
The way he said her name—the nickname she’d always hated. The one she’d determined never to allow when she came west—made heat sweep through her. She’d be happy to hear him say it anytime.
His eyes locked on hers with an intensity that made her chest tighten. "Your friendship is important to me too.Youare important to me."
When his gaze dropped to her lips, she couldn’t breathe. The air between them thickened with a delicious tension. She couldn't look away from those piercing blue eyes, the determination in them sending a shiver down her spine.
When he leaned in, everything around her blurred. Her head went light, maybe because she’d stopped breathing. And when his warm, callused fingers cupped her jaw, her eyelids fluttered closed. That was why she had no warning before his lips brushed hers, sending a jolt through her that made her lean closer and pour herself into his kiss.
And oh, what a kiss.
She melted into him. Her hands curling in the fabric of his shirt, she anchored herself against the tide of sensation.
His tongue traced the seam of her lips, and she parted for him on a sigh, letting him taste her as she'd longed for him to do.
He explored her mouth with exquisite thoroughness, stokingthe embers of desire into flames that licked along her nerve endings. When he pulled back—too soon—the haze he’d brought over her made it impossible to speak more than his name. "Jonah." How could she put words to the riot of emotions swirling inside her?
He brushed his thumb along her cheekbone, the touch unbearably gentle. When he spoke, his voice was low and rough with emotion. "Patsy, I'm not pining for Naomi. It's you I want. Your friendship, yes. But more than that." His tenor dipped lower. "I want a chance to court you properly. To show you the kind of man I can be."
Tears pricked at the backs of her eyes. No one had ever wanted to court her, to cherish her, to prove himself worthy of her. All her life, she'd fought and scraped for survival, building walls around her heart. Yet with a few earnest words, Jonah had her defenses crumbling.
But she couldn’t lose her focus.
She’d wanted to clear the air with Jonah, but she still had to leave. She had plans, a lifelong dream that was finally within reach. She would be independent, her and Anna, and not have to worry about how she would feed or protect herself. Nor would she be under the control of another man. They’d have their own little cottage, just like in the painting. And she wouldn’t have to rely on anyone.
She straightened, pulling back to put space between them. How to say this without wrecking this friendship she truly wanted to protect? It might not withstand the blow she was about to give it.
“Jonah.” She worked for a smile. “You’re such an admirable man. I’m honored beyond words that you would ask.” That sounded trite, so insignificant in the face of that kiss they’d just shared.
She swallowed the burn that crept to her eyes. “I can’t stay here though. I have plans. I…” What a slap in the face to tell him her dream was more important than he was. But was there any other way to say it? She needed to be clear about her answer, lest he hold onto false hope. “I’ve had this dream for as long as I remember. To buy property in Indiana. There’s a certain place. And a house.”
He’d already slipped that shutter back over his eyes, and his arms had lowered to rest on his thighs. He picked at a blade of grass, and the way he didn’t meet her gaze made her chest ache.
“If I didn’t have this all worked out, Jonah, I would say yes. In a heartbeat.” Would he question why she wasn’t asking him to think about coming along? She had no good answer to that question. Only that this was something she had to do herself. Besides, his family was here. He’d built a cabin here with his own two hands. His entire life was here.
It would be unfair of her to pull him away.
He lifted his focus from the grass in his hands to stare ahead, toward the cabin wall. “I understand.” She couldn’t tell by the tone of his voice whether he really did or not.
She touched his arm to help him feel the weight of her next words. Beneath the fabric of his shirt, his muscle went stiff. Like a tree trunk. The man was more solid than the logs he’d felled for this house.
She forced her mind back on what she’d been about to say. “I’m sorry, Jonah. And I really meant what I said before. Your friendship is important to me. More so than…” Her voice quivered, and she paused.
He turned to her then, his mouth curving into a smile that almost met his eyes. “It’s all right, Patsy. Our friendship is safe. I’m here for you. Anytime.”
