It took all his courage to turn and see if Patsy had heard.
She stood on the stoop, her gaze shifting from Lillian to him. Should he explain?
He'd not told her about Naomi, about how close he'd come to marrying her, how the cabin he was nearly finished building had been intended to house her and Mary Ellen after the wedding. But when Eric had shown up, Mary Ellen’s father and her true love, she’d chosen Eric, a decision Jonah had known was right even at the time.
That knowledge hadn’t lessened the sting of rejection. He’d been set aside the moment someone better came along.
Now, if there was to be anything between himself and Patsy, any chance of something real and true, he needed to tell her everything.
But what if she judged him for nearly marrying a woman he didn’t love? Or what if she started to look for all the reasons Naomi had changed her mind before their wedding day? The thought made his stomach twist. His errors were plenty, and Patsy would find them easily enough. He was impulsive, stubborn, occasionally moody. His family judged him as less dependable than his brothers, no matter how hard he worked on the ranch and in the mine. He still even had a bit of a limp from when that wagon had run over him two years back.
Yep, Patsy was sure to find all the reasons hedidn’t measure up.
Even so, he had to tell her the truth, give her the chance to reject him now before he let himself get too attached.
“Well,” Lillian said in what had probably been too long a silence. “Best get the floor swept, then we need to finish those cinnamon crisps. We’ll have a bunch of hungry people for dinner soon, so we don’t have much time left.”
She motioned for Patsy to follow her back to the cooking area of the main room. Patsy gave him a quick glance as she passed by.
He didn’t miss the questions in her eyes.
Maybe he could pull her aside tonight so they could talk. It was time he was honest with her. About everything.
CHAPTER 9
Patience’s boots crunched in the dry grass as she made her way through the warm sunshine toward Jonah's new cabin, a basket of food tucked under her arm. She couldn't get Lillian's story out of her mind—how noble and selfless Jonah had been to offer marriage to Naomi, to provide a home for her and little Mary Ellen. The thought made Patience’s heart flutter in a way that was becoming all too familiar when it came to the brooding, kindhearted cowboy.
Then when Eric had shown up, he and Naomi had reconciled, and Jonah had gallantly stepped back and let the three form the family they were clearly meant to be. The fact that Eric had searched so hard for Naomi was remarkable in itself.
As Patience neared the cabin, doubts crept in, casting shadows over her hopeful mood. Jonah had acted strangely last night and this morning. Was he avoiding her because he still carried a torch for Naomi? The idea sent a pang through her chest. She couldn't blame him if he did—Naomi was lovely inside and out.
Then there was the matter of that tender moment Patience and he had shared last week. Heat rose in her cheeks at thememory of Jonah's intense gaze, his gentle touch on her hand as he'd confessed his desire to kiss her.
But she valued Jonah's friendship too much to let a little embarrassment sour the openness between them. She’d never had a friend she could trust so completely to be on her side. Jonah was the real thing. A man of integrity. She’d seen enough of theotherkind to know this when she spotted it. And his actions toward Naomi only confirmed that fact.
She would simply explain to him that Lillian had told her the whole story, and that her respect for him had only grown. She wouldn't hold him to his words said in a heated moment. Their friendship was too precious to let anything mar it.
Resolve strengthened, Patience approached the cabin. He wasn’t working out front, and there was no door mounted yet, so she peered into the dark interior. Empty. She called out loudly enough for him to hear if he was behind the structure. “Jonah?”
“In the back.” His voice was muffled, clearly coming through at least one solid wall.
She stepped back outside and turned to go around the left side. When she rounded the rear corner, Jonah was there, sleeves rolled up, brown curls tumbling over his brow as he worked. At the sight of her, he set his bucket on the ground and brushed his hands together, an unreadable expression flitting across his face.
"I brought you some lunch." Patience kept her voice bright as she held up the basket. "Thought you might be hungry after all this work."
He wiped a forearm across his brow, leaving a dark gray mark where the sweat had been. "That's kind of you, but I brought some food with me this morning."
She tilted her head and bit back a smile. She’d seen what he stuffed into his pockets. "A biscuit and an apple hardly count as a proper meal for a grown man putting in a hard day's work. Ihave sliced ham, fresh bread baked this morning with strawberry jam, and those cinnamon crisps you seemed to enjoy so much last night."
Jonah's eyes lit as she lifted the napkin, revealing the tempting spread. "Well, I guess I could do with a bit of fortification. Thank you." He took the basket but didn’t pull anything out, just stood there, like he was waiting for her to leave.
She motioned to a log lying nearby. “Sit and dig in.”
He obeyed, and she settled in beside him, the rough bark pressing through her skirts. How to start? He’d lifted aside the cloth covering and was staring at the food as though his mind were elsewhere. She needed to get this out so they could both have peace.
She cleared her throat. "I wanted to…well, I wanted to talk to you about something."
Jonah looked at her, a guardedness in his posture and a tightness around his eyes that made her nerves jangle.
