“Right.”
She shrugs the jacket back off and hands it to me. “In fact, shivering in your presence seems honest. You don’t give a shit about me, so let’s stop pretending.”
I deserve that. “Katarina.”
She shakes her head. “My father is your enemy, hence, I am your enemy as well.” She frowns, staring into the flames. “No, that’s wrong. I’m not important enough to be your enemy, I’m just…bait.”
I sit in one of the club chairs near the fire. I won’t refute what she just said, it’s true. But I can at least say what I came here to tell Katarina. “Rebecca died in this room.”
She gasps, her eyes locking with mine. I could stare morosely off into the distance, let the memories wash over me, but this moment isn’t about me. It’s about Katarina. So instead, I gesture for her to take the seat across from me.
She does, slipping into the chair, her eyes wide as she silently waits.
She looks so beautiful in this moment, the touch of vulnerability making her beauty even more spectacular. I wish I could rewind, feel her underneath me again.
“When I realized the extent of the debt my father had left, I nearly buckled under the weight of it. I was twenty-three, and I…” I finally look away, my eyes sliding closed. I was weak.
“Go on,” she whispers, but I hear her. I open my eyes again. “I tried to sell some of the assets, but I quickly realized that nearly everything that was left was entailed.”
Her brow furrows, “But I thought you sold property to finance the first casinos?”
“A lie,” I shake my head. I’ve never told another soul this, and if it’s my undoing, so be it. It feels good to unload off my chest and if Katarina uses the information to hurt me, it’s the least I deserve. “My last.”
She nods, her body perched on the edge of her seat as she listens intently.
“Looking for a quick fix, I made a deal with a Russian drug dealer.”
I hear her quick intake of breath, she already knows where this is going. “My father.”
“Yes. I agreed to let him use the cliffs and my property to smuggle his product into the country, and in exchange, he gave me a cut. It worked well for a few years, where I was able to save up enough money to keep the debtors at bay and plan my legitimate business with my brothers. But once I reached solid footing, I didn’t want to be on the wrong side of the law any longer.”
“Ah. I see the problem,” Katarina says, her head tilting back as her eyes closed. “My father did not appreciate you retracting your offer.”
I shake my head. She’s exactly right. “I was arrogant and?—”
“You?” she asks in mock surprise.
I grunt in response. I deserve that too. “And when he tried to strongarm me into remaining in his employ, I threatened to go to the police.”
Katarina looks away. “How did Rebecca factor in?”
“Your father and I…we’d meet here. Near the cliffs, away from the main house. I think Rebecca might have grown suspicious of my evenings away. She thought perhaps I’d taken a mistress. She came in unaware, looking to surprise me and catch me in the act. But Ivan and I were in a heated debate and when Ivan saw her…”
I can’t make myself finish.
I’ve played the moment in my thoughts a million times. His threat, my youthful disbelief that he’d actually follow through. I’d mocked him.
My hand clenches into a tight ball. I despise Ivan Ivanov for being a cold, heartless bastard, and I detest his hitman, Sver. Ivan had ordered him to shoot Rebecca, and he’d done it without a moment’s hesitation or remorse.
But as much as I hate both of them, I hate myself more. For being so stupid, for being the kind of man who didn’t protect the woman he ought to?—
My gaze snaps to Katarina. Her eyes are intent upon me, still wide and vulnerable, her lips parted.
My fist smashes down on my own knee.
Because…
Before me sits another woman who deserves my protection. And what did I fucking do…
