She sucks in a soft breath.
“So I put my men on your protection in the hospital, but it was tough. Saoirse was showing no signs of recovery. She was having brain surgery due to blunt force trauma.”
My gaze slides to my twin and suddenly, her painfully short haircut makes sense. She runs her fingers through the short strands and winces. “The price to pay.”
“Then Cormac saved me from Hawk’s assassins and I knew we were out of time,” Anastasia continues. “Something about that moment made me realize how dire the situation was. My life was being saved by a man who was pouring blood all over the floor because the fight ripped open the stitches on his severed arm.”
I look at Cormac and our eyes meet. “My arm was crushed,” he explains gently. “And my jaw shattered. I’ve got a metal plate now.” His fingers tap the side of the jaw I punched earlier, and my knuckles throb at the memory.
No wonder that hurt so damn much.
“So I moved Cormac to one of our bunkers and Saoirse followed shortly after. Evelyn and Bruno too, and their children. There was barely any time.” Anastasia’s voice trembles slightly. “Letting the world think they were dead was the only optionI had because all across the city, no one was safe. But you, Cian. You were being watched closely as soon as news got out that Cormac and Saoirse were dead. Getting to you was proving impossible. I used one of the remaining Irish generals to try and get word to you, but I found their body two days later and had no way to tell whether they’d delivered the message to you. By the time we found a gap to reach you, you’d woken up and fled the hospital. You became a ghost. We lost sight of you and for a long time we feared that Hawk had killed you.”
“You’re saying it’s my fault?” I snap as the relief and misplaced grief clash together like a storm in my chest.
“Not at all,” Cormac says instantly. “You did what you were trained to do. What we were all trained to do.”
“I looked for you as much as I could,” Anastasia says, “certain I’d be bringing your body back to Cormac. Then we became Hexagon’s target and I entrusted Faina with their downfall because she was the only one I could spare. Months went by and then Faina calls, tells me she’s with you in France.”
Erik reaches up and takes Anastasia’s hand, gripping it tightly.
“She explained you were after Hawk too, and we knew then that telling you the truth wouldn’t benefit you because we all wanted Hawk’s head on a spike. Saoirse was still in a coma, Cormac was struggling to come to terms with the loss of a limb, and my daughter was stumbling about in this noiseless world. Life was shit. It’s a terrible excuse, but Faina told us how close you’d gotten to Hawk in the months you’d vanished and we saw an opportunity. And no one would help you.”
All this time they were here, hidden away in a house and an underground bunker while I was heartbroken and tearing my way through Europe for revenge.
“Not once did you think about telling me?”
“We did,” Anastasia replies. “Do you remember when I called and I told you there was so much more I wanted to say but I couldn’t?”
A distant memory of being in the car with Faina after spending the night in it arises. “Maybe.”
“Back then, Saoirse was awake, but she and Bruno were caught up in caring for Liam who is understandably traumatized. We knew Hawk was onto you and didn’t know what was being monitored. Any information we gave you could lead Hawk to your family, and none of us were in any position to put up a fight. We’d all be sitting ducks.”
“And then Interpol got involved,” Erik says, seemingly taking over as Anastasia’s strength wavers slightly. “Knowing that both Hawk and Interpol had their sights set on you? Secrecy was all we could do to keep you safe. I did everything I could to help Faina help both of you.”
“Did she know?” My heart jumps up into my chest. “Did she know my family was alive?”
“No,” Anastasia replies firmly. “She believed everyone died in the hospital, and I let her think that because you were both so focused. Ironically, in the end, we were the ones feeding info to Interpol because it was the only tool we had to keep you safe. Had I known that Whittle was just using you, it might have been different, but at the time, we thought they would keep you safebecause Hawk was a much bigger fish to fry. Rocky took on that role once he learned Cormac was alive.”
I need to sit down. Moving from the window, I sink into the one vacant seat in the lounge and grip my knees with both hands.
It’s painful, but I can’t deny that it makes sense.
“I can’t believe this. It doesn’t feel real.”
Saoirse moves closer and very slowly kneels down in front of me. “When we heard you were flying back, we were all ready to meet you, but you vanished again.” Her voice quavered. “Faina was doing everything she could to reach you, but you didn’t return her calls, and then when Rocky finally found you, we thought it was best to show you together rather than tell you.”
Slowly, I lift my gaze and our eyes meet. “Wise,” I murmur. “I would have thought he was bullshitting me.”
“I know.”
“I’m sorry, Cian.” She shuffles closer. “I’m sorry you were alone. I’m sorry I didn’t wake up sooner. I’m sorry we couldn’t protect you and you had to do all of this by yourself. I’msorry, but I’m so proud of you. So, so proud.”
Her voice cracks, and guilt warms my stomach. She shouldn’t be apologizing. None of them should, not really. She was in a coma, Cormac lost limb and his jaw, the kids were traumatized, everyone was nursing insane injuries while being hunted by a maniac. Deep down, I know I can’t blame them for anything because they don’t deserve it.
But that doesn’t stop it hurting.
“I grieved you,” I say hoarsely. “I thought you were all dead, and the Irish guy at the hospital, I did get the note, but I thought it was a trick. I thought someone was trying to lure me out into the open and finish me off. No one was talking and then I couldn’t stay in the city anymore because everywhere I looked, I was reminded. After everything we suffered under Domenico…”
