I linger at the Gifford Estate for an hour staring over the remains and trying to picture what the place looked like before Hawk’s bombs destroyed it. His words ring in my ears about how easy it was for him to slip through the cracks and plant the explosives, as if it was our fault for not detecting them or trusting the catering company and a delivery driver.
I leave when the tears start to build and walk back through the dark city streets until my feet ache and I’m forced to flag down a late-night taxi.
The Scotch bottle calls to me as I trudge back upstairs and let myself into my new, shitty apartment, but as I cross the small lounge to where I left the bottle and my glass, something makes the back of my neck jump. A shift in the shadows sends a prickle down my spine and I immediately unholster my gun. Spinning on the spot, I aim at the darkness with my finger on the trigger, ready to fire, until the small lamp clicks on and the room is flooded with peaky yellow light.
“Rocky? Jesus fuck, I almost shot you!”
“I know!” Rocky puffs out his cheeks with one hand on his chest. “A little jumpy, huh?”
“Can you blame me? The fuck are you doing here in the dark?” I lower my gun, my heart hammering, and immediately reach for the bottle of Scotch.
“I wouldn’t need to sneak in if you’d answer your fucking phone.”
“You didn’t call,” I say, uncapping the bottle after holstering my weapon.
“Uh, yeah, I did,” Rocky replies. “Seriously, answer your phone, dude. I had to scour the city for you.”
Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I pause pouring my drink and scan through my missed calls from Faina to see Rocky’s name buried between them. “Oh. Shit. Sorry.”
“It’s not us who you need to apologize to,” speaks up another voice I recognize. In the doorway, shrouded by the darkness of the kitchen, stands Anastasia. “You made me come and see you in person and I don’t take kindly to that.”
“No one made you come,” I reply as I finish pouring my drink. “Why are you both here, anyway?”
“I’m here because you’re ignoring Faina’s calls and I don’t like to see her upset. You went through hell together and now you can’t even speak to her?” Anastasia’s eyes narrow to blades. “She deserves better.”
“She does.” That we can agree on. “I’m just…” Pausing, I drain a mouthful of alcohol and drop hard into the nearest chair. “Coming back here was harder than I thought. I’m not ready.”
“If anyone understands, it’s her,” Rocky says gently. “But you don’t need to suffer, Cian, because?—”
“You need to come and visit,” Anastasia interrupts. “Talk to Faina and come to dinner.”
“I can’t.”
“You can. You need to.”
“Why?” Our eyes meet. “Like he said, Faina understands. So I’m sure she understands that I need some time.”
“You saved her life,” Anastasia sighs. “For that, I’m grateful. You saved me, you saved all of us with how hard you went against Hexagon. But until we’re absolutely certain that we’re safe, you need to come to dinner.”
“I don’t eat.”
“Dude.” Rocky drags one hand down his face. “Please.”
“If you won’t do it for yourself then do it for Clara,” Anastasia snaps. “She’s deaf because of your family.”
“You’re pulling that card?” I snort. “I’m the only Gifford left for you to blame, is that it?”
“Cian…” Anastasia walks forward until she’s bathed in the same washed yellow glow as Rocky. “We’re all cut from the same cloth—different families, different allegiances, different morals, sure. But we’re all Mafia at the end of the day and you faced our greatest threat head-on while carrying pain neither of us dared to imagine. I’m not holding that against you. Hell, we probably didn’t even deserve it, but you need to come home with me. If not right now, then come to dinner tomorrow. Faina needs you and I hate seeing her upset.”
I can’t face her.
I’m scared that the moment I do, all this pain I’ve been carrying will surge up and kill me. I drain my glass and wince as the drink burns all the way down my throat, then smack my lips together.
“I don’t want to disappoint her,” I say hoarsely.
“Then come to dinner,” Anastasia replies softly. “It will be worth it.”
“Trust us,” Rocky says. “The Manor is safe and you… you need to be there.Please.”
