And just like that, despite what Lissa has told her, they are on even ground, the way they always have been.
Darcy checks her phone, makes a face. ‘Shit, I better go back to the office.’
‘Do you think I should come too?’
‘No. I think you should skive off for the day, come back tomorrow with an actual letter of resignation, then work out your notice like a grown-up. But today – why bother poking Liam with a stick?’
Lissa cocks her head. ‘I’m the stick in this scenario?’
In answer to that, Darcy hugs her goodbye. A few minutes later, a chocolate chip cookie arrives at Lissa’s table.
The barista shrugs when Lissa looks confused. ‘It’s from your friend,’ he says. ‘She said to say congrats.’
Lissa smiles as she breaks off a corner of it, pops it into her mouth. She gets out her phone, turning it over in her hand. She feels surprisingly calm, all things considered. Which she’s pretty sure is a sign she made the right choice.
The first person she wants to call right now, to tell him that she quit, is Ash. But she can’t. She doesn’t want to screw him around – and he wants to leave, doesn’t he? Maybe that’s what needs to happen. Maybe she needs to do some soul-searching herself, before she can be in the right place to start anything with him, soulmate or no. Is that what Saskia meant when she talked about timing?
Failing Ash, she wants to talk it all through with Mia, but they still haven’t really fixed things. So she calls her mum instead.
‘Lissa.’ Her mum sounds surprised – she supposes they don’t really call each other like this.
‘Hi, Mum.’
‘Is something wrong?’
‘No,’ Lissa says quickly. ‘No, I just … I quit my job.’
‘Oh.’ There’s a stilted pause. ‘I, umm …’
‘It’s a good thing,’ Lissa prompts.
‘Oh – well great! Good for you!’
Lissa wants to laugh at the over-the-top enthusiasm, but she doesn’t, because she knows it’s a sign her mum is trying. ‘Yeah. So I was thinking … I might move somewhere else for a bit.’ She says it in a rush, before she’s had time to talk herself out of it. But once it’s out, she knows that that’s what she wants to do. That’s what sheneedsto do. She’s just never been brave enough to admit it to herself.
‘Somewhere else?’ She can almost hear the frown in her mum’s voice.
‘Yeah. Maybe I could even go and volunteer abroad, just for a bit.’ She’s thinking as she’s speaking – but again, why shouldn’t she do that? She needs to get away from this city, needs to learn to be her own person. And maybe Ash isn’t who she’s supposed to spend her life with – maybethat’swhat the universe is trying to tell her – but one thing’s for sure, he’s helped her to see that she wants more from life than she’s currently getting. She’s loved volunteering at the charity shop, after all, so why not move somewhere else entirely, immerse herself in volunteering, take the time to figure out where to go from there?
‘Oh,’ her mum says. ‘Well …’
‘I don’t have to go,’ Lissa says quickly, already backtracking.
‘No, you should. Or at least, you shouldn’t stay for me.’ Her mum sighs. ‘I don’t want to be the reason you’re trapped here – not any more.’
Lissa thinks of Mia, of how Mia has also felt stuck here – because of her.
No one asked you to sit watching.
She winces at the memory, but she supposes the same could be said of her mum – no one asked Lissa to sit by, watching her descent. It was implied, sure, but maybe she could have broken free if she’d really tried. If she’d been brave enough.
‘I won’t go until late September,’ she continues. She doesn’t say it explicitly, but she’ll wait until after Chloe’s anniversary. Just in case.
‘Oh. Yes. I mean …’ Her mum trails off. Perhaps she doesn’t want to think about it. Perhaps she doesn’t want to address how she usually gets that day. Or maybe she’s hoping it will be better this year, what with all the therapy. And maybe it will, Lissa thinks. Maybe there’s hope for the both of them.
‘I’m thinking of selling the house,’ her mum says, on a rush of breath.
Lissa feels a little jolt. ‘You are?’
