And the aroma of them. The taste of chewy cookies and melted chocolate, gah.
I resisted all evening.
I resisted when Ledger told me that I should at least have one. When he waved it under my nose,jerk, to get me to break. I resisted when Shep made all those moaning noises and Stellan told me sternly to just eat the fucking cookie instead of going through with the crazy diet.
But the good, determined girl that I am, I resisted.
Until everyone went to sleep.
I crept down to the kitchen because it was getting harder and harder to fall asleep and I had ballet class in the morning. I thought that one cookie wouldn’t hurt.
But it turned out someone was already there and as soon as I saw a silhouette, without really thinking about it, I picked up the first thing I saw, a kitchen cleaner, and started screaming and spraying.
Freaking the bejesus out of who I thought was an intruder.
It was only Shep though.
And I’d somehow sprayed him in the eyes and also on the cookie that was half hanging from his mouth. That he had to spit out because he was screaming too. And with all the screaming and shouting, the rest of them woke up andugh.
It was a whole chaotic thing.
“I think you should call him and apologize again,” Ledger says, laughing. “He’s never going to live that down. He’s been tainted for life. Because his sister tried to kill him for eating cookies.”
And then I can’t stop my own laughter because itwasfunny, and I guess Ledger is right.
Ihavescarred Shepard for life.
Now every time he comes around and I make him cookies, they all call him the Cookie Monster.
But my laughter is short-lived because amidst all the snorting and snickering, I hear another deep chuckle.
It’s Con’s.
And I completely freeze.
It’s been so long since I’ve heard it and it fills me with such great joy that I really don’t know what to do. Ledger doesn’t have this problem though because he keeps laughing and sputtering, “Remember what he said, ‘If this gets out, I’ll murder all four of you in your fucking sleep.’”
Con chuckles again. “Yeah. I’d like to see him try.”
Ledger stabs a finger at him. “Hey, I could take you. Come on.” He raises his arms and flexes his biceps then. “Look at these babies, huh.”
Con gives him a bored look. “I could snap you like a twig.”
“Ha! You wish, big bro.”
“Just eat your dinner.”
“You wanna meet me outside?” Ledger challenges. “Come on, let’s go. Let’s end this here and now and see who’s the strongest.”He waves at me then. “Come on, Calls, you can be our witness as I wipe the floor with our big brother and begin my supremacy.”
I burst out crying then.
I know it’s a crazy reaction to my brothers bantering with each other but I can’t help myself. Usually my brothers goof around, especially Shep and Ledger, but it’s been years since I saw Conrad joining them.
And I know it’s because of me.
Because of what I did and how I disappointed my oldest brother.
Maybe I don’t have to tell him, I think wildly.
