The muscle on his cheek tics and tics. “You want to fall for someone?”
My heart sinks.
It goes all the way, down and down, to the bottom of my stomach. I don’t even think that I can hear it anymore. I don’t even think I feel it.
As if my heart is hiding.
It’s running away from me at the thought of falling for someone else.
But my heart is stupid. It has always been.
“Yes,” I whisper.
He goes still then. At my response.
As still as my own chest. Like his heart ran away too at the thought of me falling for someone else.
But that’s not true, is it?
He doesn’t have a heart to begin with. His chest is a wasteland where no heart, no flower will ever grow and I was foolish to ever think otherwise.
I still am.
Because his stillness makes me want to cry.
Makes me want to take back my words and fall at his feet. It makes me want to tell him that I will never ever fall for anyone else.
I can’t.
Because two years ago, I loved him too much and sometimes I still feel that love.
I hate it.
I hate that I can feel it in my chest but I feel it nonetheless.
But then, that’s why I’ve done this, right?
To not feel it anymore. To end it once and for all.
“So say it,” Reed commands after a few seconds. “Say the words then.”
I’m not surprised that he already knows what I’m going to say. It’s the strangest thing that we can sense each other’s thoughts like that but I’m not going to dwell on it.
I’m going to say it.
“I-I think we should…”
His grip flexes around my throat, in my hair. “We should what?”
“You should f-fuck me.”
It took me what felt like forever to say it but it doesn’t take him more than a fraction of a second to repeat it. “I should fuck you.”
I jerk out a nod and swallow that I’m sure he can feel on his rough palm. “Yes.”
“Because you’re not an innocent flower anymore. I don’t need to tell you to hold on to your dress. Or to hide your pussy from me.”
I’d forgotten.
