Back then I used to be sad all the time and even though Poe didn’t know the reason she always stuck by me. It was her idea to sneak out and unwind. And I was too sad to care about getting caught so I went with her.
“What happened?” Reed asks, his words sounding like blades in the air.
“I… I let him… He kiss —”
“Don’t,” he snaps, cutting me off, almost pressing his forehead against mine, making me taste his command on my tongue, my trembling lips.
And that jaw that I’m touching now after two long years, I rub it.
I try to soothe away the tightness from it. I try to soothe him because I’m not finished. Because I have to keep going for the both of us.
“He didn’t just…” I tell Reed. “He did… other things. He took me to this dark corner, away from everyone and I went with him and he —”
That’s when his hands come off the tree and he puts them on me.
He wraps one around my throat and buries the other in my hair. He messes up my neat and tidy strands as his fingers latch onto my hair. He even squeezes my throat to get a good, possessive grip around it.
When he’s satisfied with how he’s trapped me and how my lips have parted at his dominating hold, he says, “Are you trying to hurt me?”
“No,” I whisper.
“Is this your fucked-up way of giving me pain? Of teaching me a lesson for breaking your heart. For throwing away your love.”
“No, Reed. Listen —”
“Then whatthe fuckare you doing?” he snaps so loudly that I flinch.
He grips my neck so tightly that I go up on my tiptoes to give him more access. To give him more of me to squeeze and grope and grab.
“I’m trying to tell you that you don’t have to protect me anymore. That I’m not some innocent flower that you met in the woods two years ago. I’m not. I haven’t been that girl in a long time, Reed, okay? You don’t have to tell me to hold on to my dress or to keep my legs shut when you’re around.”
His thumb presses down on my pulse. “I don’t, huh? I don’t have to protect you. I can do whatever I want with you then?”
“Yes. That’s what I’m saying. And where do you get off trying to protect me anyway? You’re the guy who hurt me. You’re the reason I’m like this. All broken.” My hands creep up to his hair then and I grip his longish strands. I grip them and a breath puffs out of me because they feel the same as they did two years ago. Rich and soft and cozy, and tugging on them, I continue, “And I’m the reason you’re haunted. And I want this to end.”
“To end,” he says roughly.
“Yes. I want this to end, Reed. I don’t want to be broken anymore. I don’t want you to be haunted. We need to move on. We need to forget about each other. We need to forget that we ever met.” I look into his eyes that have turned even harsher now. “Ineed to forget that I ever met you. That I ever fell in love with you. I need to forget you, Reed. I want to. And I want this to be the last time.”
“Last time what?”
“That we see each other. I don’t want… I don’t want you to come here anymore. To pick me up or to drive me around. I’m safe, Reed. So I don’t want you to be my chauffeur anymore. Besides, the audition video is done. So I don’t need you anymore.”
It got done last week. So this is it.
This has to be.
“You don’t need me anymore,” he repeats.
“No.” I shake my head, feeling all achy and sad. “So promise me.”
“Promise you.”
I nod, my neck in his grip, my head feeling heavy. “Promise me this is the last time. And maybe one day…”
“One day what?”
“One day I can meet someone and I can fall in love with him. I want to fall for someone. A different guy. A good guy. A guy who doesn’t hurt me like you do.”
