My shoes.
Why would he be…
Oh.
Because my shoes are not really shoes. They’re soccer cleats. Neon yellow and worn even though they’re sort of new. I got them a few weeks back when my old ones got too weathered to use after only a month or so.
I burn through my soccer cleats pretty quickly, abnormally quickly.
Mostly because I play a lot of soccer – yes, I play soccer too but it’s a story for another time. And because I wear them everywhere. They’re not meant to be worn off the soccer field, but when have I ever listened to logic?
My new neon-yellow soccer cleats are the reason I didn’t have enough money that night to run away, and so I had to resort to stealing. Because I’d blown my savings on buying a new pair.
Standing a few feet away from me, Arrow looks at them for a few seconds before lifting his beautiful eyes.
“Make sure you’re not late for your soccer practice on Monday. Because like Mrs. Miller, your new coach doesn’t like rule-breakers either. And you don’t want to find out what happens when you break his rules.”
Chapter Four
Idon’t call him by his name.
At least not in front of other people.
Because his name has a power over me. Like the name Sarah has a power over him.
Every time I say it out loud, I flinch. As ifArrowis an incantation from olden times. A dark spell. It pricks my lips and covers them in tiny delicious paper cuts.
A spell that bites at my tongue.
I only say it when I’m all alone in my room and no one is there to witness the small spasms of my body and hear the tiny gasps that escape me.
In public though, I usually refer to him as my sister’s boyfriend or the love of my sister’s life.
So I don’t know what I’m going to call him now.
Because he’s not with my sister anymore.
He’s not my sister’s boyfriend.
How’s that possible?
How is this real life?
How am I supposed to cope with this?
So it’s during the group activity that I decide to take a drastic step.
I’ve been thinking about it ever since last night, ever since we came back from the bar and I found my roommate sleeping soundly in her bed.
Anyway, I think I’m going to do it.
I’m going to take that drastic step or I’ll go crazy.
I’m already going crazy during the group activity.
Which is gardening by the way.
Because it’s Saturday and at St. Mary’s, we plant gardenias on Saturdays.
