It’s dangerous.
Heis dangerous.
Hope is dangerous. At least for a girl like me.
A girl in such hopeless love.
“And then what?” I ask hesitantly.
“What?”
“Once you’ve dropped me off, and made sure that I’m taken care of, will you leave then?”
That’s when he reaches me, at my question.
And my heart jumps into my throat.
Especially when he dips his face and bends his body and cages me in like he always does.
“No,” he rasps, looking me in the eyes, his hands on either side of me.
“Why not?”
“Because I’ve got other things on my mind.”
“Other things than… soccer?” I ask, clutching the edge of his desk.
“Yeah. Soccer can wait.”
“Y-you’re kidding.”
“No.” He shakes his head. “Fuck soccer. There are other things that I’m thinking about.”
God.
God, I’m so scared.
“Like what?”
Something happens to him then.
A strain comes over him and his arms flex, his fingers crinkling the pages of the open book that they’re pressing on.
“Like a girl with witchy eyes and thirteen freckles,” he replies.
"What?”
“Yeah, and how fucked up I am over her. So much that everything hurts.”
“Everything hurts?” I whisper, digging my nails into the wood and clenching my stomach.
“Yeah. Everything.”
“Why?”
“Because I was an asshole who didn’t have his shit together when I met her and so I made her cry. And because even whenI decided to stop being an asshole andgetmy shit together, I made her cry then as well.” Then, “They had to sedate you, didn’t they? The day I showed up. Because you wouldn’t stop crying. That’s why I stayed away. For two whole weeks. That’s why I didn’t see you. I didn’t deserve to see you because they had to inject you with a drug to put you to sleep. Just because I was there. Just because I came to tell you.”
“Arrow –”
