“But you’re still fucking him, aren’t you?”
“Why, are you jealous?”
I think about it and my answer automatically slips out, “Strangely, no.”
Before I can analyze it, she says, “So what’s the problem? Why can’t you let this go?”
“Maybe because you cheated on me and lied to me. That tends to piss people off.”
Scoffing, she shakes her head. “Do you have any idea how big of a mistake you’re making right now?”
“Why don’t you tell me?”
She exhales sharply. “Why do you think we were together, A? Why do you think we got together in the first place? It’s because we matched in every way. I was ambitious and so were you. I was driven and so were you. We had this mutual attraction. You’re as handsome as I am beautiful. We were together because being with each other made sense. Being with each other was easy. It was convenient.”
I look into her eyes, her golden eyes that I found so rare. So fascinating and original. Something to be prized.
Something like perfection.
But now, like her, they seem boring. They don’t tilt up at the corners. They don’t shine as much.
So boring that a word comes out of my mouth in a flat,boredtone. “Convenient.”
“Yes.” Sarah smiles in triumph. “It was convenient. Somehow fate or whatever put us in the same house. Our thoughts matched. Our goals matched. We both brought something to the table. Do you know how hard that is to find? This level of perfection between two people?
“It’s hard, A. But we have it. All these people, these ordinary people, they run after love and all those stupid things. But we have something greater. It was never about love between us. We have our perfection. We have our ambitions. Our plans. We’re a team, you and me. We’re the power couple, don’t you see? I’m beautiful, educated, sophisticated; I look good on your arm. And you are my superstar athlete boyfriend. Why do you think I came up with the injury lie? Why do you think I appeased everyone while you were away? I didn’t want you to lose everything you’ve worked for.Wehave worked for. Remember all the plans we made? Going to college together. You going pro. You gettingtraded to the European League. God, we were going to live in England or Ireland. Spain. We were going to do so many things together.”
We were.
Going pro was always my dream.
Playing for the European League was always my dream too because it was my father’s dream and my mother made sure that I saw it as well, when I closed my eyes.
But then Sarah came along, and she seemed so similar to me that all my plans and dreams became hers. She let me focus on the game. She let me completely disappear into myself when I was obsessed with a strategy. She let me watch the game tapes over and over.
She let mebe.
It just made sense.
It was fuckingconvenient.
“And we can still have that,” she continues, stepping closer and putting her hands on me again, on my rapidly heating body. “We can still be that couple, you and me. One mistake can’t wash away eight years of togetherness, A. It can’t. I won’t let it. We can’t be like other people and be bogged down with ordinary things. We’re special. We have worked too hard for it, you and me.”
She’s right.
We’re not ordinary, her and me.
We’re perfect. We match.
We are destined for greater things. That’s what I’ve been told ever since I was born. Greatness, perfection, being my father’s son.
“You and me, huh,” I murmur and her eyes shine with a hard glint of her ambitions.
“I know I hurt you with Ben. I know that but that wasn’t my intention at all.”
“So what was your intention then?”
“You were so involved in your game, the season, and I was new in town. I’d just started the new job. I was lonely. I didn’t have a lot of friends back then. You kept bringing him around and yeah, I slipped up. I admit that. But I didn’t want to distract you from the game because of something so inconsequential. I didn’t want you to lose your focus. That’s why I hid it for so long. I didn’t want to hurt you. I was going to stop anyway once we were married. You are more important to me than some second-class coach. He’s been on the team for four years, A, and he’s still the assistant coach, can you believe it? You rose to the top within a year. He’s got nothing on you. He’s got nothing onus.”
