Hanging up, he looked at me. “We’re intervening. You don’t deserve to have this weighing on just your shoulders, Blaze.” When I opened my mouth to protest, to tell him I hadn’t meant to burden him, he gripped my upper arm, giving it a light squeeze. “We’re not losing Jaxon. You’re not losing Jaxon.” And the look he aimed at me told me he knew. He knew how I felt about my best friend, my roommate. He knew I was half fucking in love with him—if I hadn’t already fallen completely in love with him to begin with.
I swallowed thickly. “I can’t fucking lose him, Hunter.” I’d never recover. Fuck, I’d probably take myself out too, just so I could be in the afterlife with him.
Hunter nodded. “I know, bro. I know.” And the way he said that told me he did. Because while Samuel had never vocalized wanting to commit suicide, Samuel’s parents had been abusive enough that Hunter constantly worried about Samuel’s safety and well-being during our senior year of high school.
“Thank you,” I rasped, my voice thick and my throat nearly too tight to speak.
Hunter nodded. “We’re family, Blaze. Don’t ever forget that.”
Chapter 6
Jaxon
“Jax?” I groaned, not wanting to wake up. Today was a shit day so far. I’d tried focusing on the computer at the library to gather research for my upcoming paper, but I couldn’t focus for long before a headache started forming. It was hard enough to stare at the computer screen long enough to actually get any kind of decent information, but the brightness of the screen, even dimmed down to the lowest setting, didn’t fucking help my visual issues, and gaining that damned headache hadn’t taken long at all. Not even thirty fucking minutes.
I was going to flunk out of college at this rate. How was I expected to do this for the rest of this year and my senior year? I was already so fucking over it.
“Hey, Hunter and Samuel are here.”
I slowly peeled my eyes open. Blaze was sitting on the edge of my bed, his fingers in my hair, lightly scratching at my scalp. I hadn’t seen him since I’d fallen apart in his naked lap the night before. When I’d calmed down, he’d helped me to bed, tucked me in like a child, turned my fan on me, and sat with me, running his fingers through my hair until I fell asleep. He hadn’t even left my side long enough to get dressed—had only wrapped his towel around his waist so he could take care of me.
I didn’t deserve him, especially knowing I had feelings for him that he’d never return. Blaze was as straight as they fucking came.
“Why are they here?” I croaked.
“Haven’t seen you in a while,” Samuel said from the doorway, his shoulder leaning against the doorjamb. I peered around Blaze to get a better look at him. In ripped, black skinny jeans with chains hanging from his belt loops, black combat boots, a plain black t-shirt, and a leather jacket, he looked like he ought to be getting ready for a fucking gothic photoshoot and not merely coming to visit a friend. But Samuel was good-looking that way—ruggedly handsome with a classic fuck-the-world bad boy attitude that made both men and women fall all over themselves just to get a look at him.
“And you thought to come bother me while I’m sleeping?” I grumbled.
Samuel smirked. “Why not? Come on. Get up and socialize. I brought food with us.” With that, he turned and left the room, heading back down the hall.
I looked back at Blaze, who had yet to take his eyes off me. “I don’t want to get up,” I complained. “My head hurts.”
“I know,” he said, his voice still soft. Quiet. Soothing. My heart clenched. Blaze, who used to be such a jackass to literally everyone, was now my comforter. The person who soothed me and took care of me. And I couldn’t help but rely on him. I literally would not still be part of this world if it weren’t for him. “You want your meds?”
I shook my head. “Already took one.” Sighing, I pushed myself into a sitting position, then reached for my glasses on the nightstand. After slipping them on my face, I looked at Blaze again. His face was a little pale, and the bags under his eyes were dark, giving him an almost bruised appearance. I frowned, reaching up to trace the dark circles under his eyes before I could stop myself. “You didn’t sleep?”
He shrugged one shoulder, not answering. My frown deepened, and my brows furrowed over my eyes. “Blaze…” I swallowed, my chest tightening. “You’re not losing sleep over me, are you?”
He smiled, but it was fake. It didn’t reach his eyes, and it was too fucking forced. “I’m fine, Jax,” he lied. And he also hadn’t answered either of my questions. Blaze never lied. And he was always up front and honest with me. Why was he being so evasive?
Last night had been too much, hadn’t it? I’d invaded my straight best friend’s personal space while he’d been naked. I’d cried in his arms like a fucking child. He hadn’t asked for any of this to be dumped into his lap. He hadn’t asked to take on my problems.
I suddenly felt like being sick again.
“Let’s go eat,” he suggested, getting up from the bed. He waited until I slid off the mattress before he circled his long, calloused fingers around my wrist and pulled me after him. When we made it to the living room, Samuel and Hunter had four white Styrofoam cups on the table with names written on them in blue ink and enough Chinese food to feed an army.
But I wasn’t even hungry. Not after what I’d realized. Not after I now knew I’d driven a rift between me and my rock. My best friend. The man I was almost certain I was falling for.
“Sit down,” Hunter said, jerking his chin toward the other couch.
I sat down, avoiding Blaze’s gaze as he sat beside me. Samuel leaned forward, his gaze locked on me. Resting his elbows on his knees, he linked his fingers together. “We need to talk, Jaxon.”
I swallowed thickly, my heart in my throat. I didn’t like the sound of that. Samuel didn’t get close and personal. He liked to keep his distance and let shit play out. If he wanted to talk, it couldn’t be about anything good. “About?” I asked, thankful my voice came out steady and strong.
“About what you told Blaze last night,” Hunter said. My heart stopped. Panic threatened. “I know things are difficult, bro. I know you’re dealing with a lot. And I know it can make you feel isolated and alone and just fucking downright tired with life?—”
“But we’re not sitting aside and letting you suffer alone now that we know how you’re really feeling,” Samuel finished.
