Slipping his hat off his head, he hangs it next to mine on an empty hook by the door. “Can we chat for a minute, June-bug?”
“Sure… what’s going on?”
Daddy hands me the file.
I open it to find a bunch of projected numbers and a digital mockup of what looks like an indoor arena. “What is this?”
“I want to diversify our income. I’ve been researching training facilities and talking to the town to see if there’s a need for one, and there is. The closest one is two hours away, and even though Reclamation Ranch has some outdoor areas, having an indoor one would be better so people can train in the winter.”
“That’s great, Daddy, but… who will teach? I don’t know any rodeo sports. Clayton could train for tie-down roping, but I don’t think that’d bring in enough to cover the costs of building a whole arena.”
He shifts, straightening his shoulders and rubbing his hands together the way he does when he’s about to say something that might not be received well.
“Well, we can interview some people, expand our staff. And… I thought we might offer Addison a job. She was great at teaching lessons over the summer, and Mary—the woman at the facility she’s at—said she’s an excellent racing teacher.”
Hearing her name is a stab to the chest, but it’s not nearly as bad as before. “Wait… have you been keeping tabs on her?”
“No, no. Mary called me about two months ago to ask if I knew of any places around here that Addison might be able to work at. It’s why I started looking into this. Other than her email inviting me to the rodeo next month, I haven’t talked to her. I swear.”
“I think a training facility is a good investment if we can find enough people to teach.”
“I figured you’d like the idea. You can ask Addison if she’s interested when you see her at the rodeo next month.”
“Oh, I’m not planning on talking to her.”
“Why the hell not? You’ve been doing all this work, taking all these big steps, and you’re not going to talk to her? Try to get her back?”
“I may be ready to spend a weekend away from the ranch, but I’m not ready to travel the country while she competes. This is still my home, my safe place. The thought of being away for too long still makes me anxious. I’d never ask her to hold herself back for me. Besides, she’s probably moved on by now. I need to see that she’s okay, then maybe I can move on, too.”
Daddy shakes his head. “You know I try not to push you when it comes to your anxiety. I may not understand what goes on inside your head, but I don’t want to be an ignorant, inconsiderate ass about it. I’m not going to tell you that opening your heart to her after all this time will be easy, but I think it's worth a try. You’ve never looked at another person the way you looked at her, and theheartbreak you’re going through tells me all I need to know about how deep your feelings are. A love like that doesn’t come around often. You need to grab it by the horns and never let it go. Sometimes, love is worth doing the scary thing for, and taking that chance is enough.”
“I don’t know, Daddy…”
He stands, pulling me into a hug. “Think about it. You’ll know in your heart what the right thing to do is. Now go on, I know you’ve got a big weekend planned with Shiloh. Have fun, be safe.”
“I will.”
He grabs his hat and leaves, and all I can think about is what he said.
Am I ready to do the scary thing for love?
Chapter 30
I don’t rememberthe arena lights being so bright or the crowd so loud. I’ve never been this nervous to compete before, and I can’t tell if it’s because it’s been so long, or Athena’s so new, or…
If my heart’s not in it anymore.
I used to get an excited rush of anticipation before I’d race. I’d feel like I chugged an entire energy drink, my body amped up and ready to go.
Now, I feel like I’m going to throw up, and not in a fun way.
I bought a brand new shirt for the occasion, thinking it would boost my confidence, but now I feel silly. The blue background reminded me of a certain set of eyes, and the pink and yellow flowers reminded me of the flowers at Forget Me Not Ranch, but I don’t usually wear such…boldcolors.
I don’t have time to go back to my truck and change, so I take a few steadying breaths and try to push away the worry that I stick out like a sore thumb. This rodeo’s a small competition, mostly locals and a few out-of-state people wanting to compete for fun, but the pressure to perform is still pecking at me like a bird.
Finally, after seven other racers, it’s my turn.
Mounting Athena, I wait for my timer to start at the gate,taking a deep inhale and releasing it slowly. When the timer starts, we’re off, circling the first barrel. What I’ve learned about Athena is that she knows what she’s doing, so I’m just here, hanging on for the ride and giving her small nudges to where she needs to go. Time slows down as we round the second and third barrels, and the crowd cheers as Athena gallops back through the gate.
