Chapter 17
This last weekhas been hectic, and I’m exhausted enough that I should be dead asleep by now.
But I’m not.
I can’t stop my mind from wandering to Juniper. I didn’t follow her home from the welcome barbecue Saturday night, even though my body was screaming at me that I should. The way she looked at me as she walked out of the barn confirmed that my running out on her that morning hurt her.
I hate myself for it.
We’ve spent the last week avoiding each other. Every time she was in the barn, I’d wait until she left to go in. She avoided lunch in the dining hall all week except for Thursday, and she made sure to sit far away from me.
Instead of sitting next to me at dinner last Sunday or tonight, she sat at the other end of the table with Oakley, the two of them getting lost in their conversation.
I haven’t had one of her smiles directed at me in over a week, and it feels like I haven’t seen the sun in just as long. I crave the way she warms me from the inside out. I don’t even care about the sex, even though that’s how this started. I want my hand on her thigh. Iwant to hear her talk about nothing. I want to know if she’s had time to paint this week, even though I doubt it with how hectic it was.
The first guests were kind but sucked up all our energy. The kids were polite and listened well, and the adults made sure they were respectful, but I could tell by the sag of her shoulders that all the socializing and being ‘on’ it was weighing on Juniper.
I wanted to check in a thousand times, but I didn’t know if she’d talk to me. Tonight, I offered to help wash the dishes, just to have a moment with her, but Mrs. Calhoun wouldn’t let me, saying I worked so hard that I deserve to rest.
How can I rest when the woman I’m… I… Ilikeisn’t talking to me?
I roll over again to get comfortable, glancing at the clock on my nightstand. It’s nearing midnight, and I know I should be sleeping so I can be rested for the next guests' arrivals. Luckily, we have tomorrow off to reset.
“Fuck this,” I mumble, tossing the sheets off and grabbing my boots and a hoodie.
I can’t go another week with this weird tension between us. I need to talk to her and clear the air.
I unplug my phone and shove it in my hoodie pocket, slipping out of the bedroom. The light in the bathroom is on, and I send a plea to the universe that Oakley stays in there long enough for me to slip by undetected.
Just as I pass the door, it clicks open, and we freeze, blinking at each other. One of her red eyebrows raises in a question, and I shrug in response. It’s obvious that she already suspects something is going on, but I’m not about to confirm it.
“Go on and get out of here, but don’t complain about bein’ tired tomorrow.” With that, she goes back to her room and shuts the door.
I let out a breath of relief and resume my journey down the stairs and out the front door. Using my phone as a flashlight, I takethe trail that leads to Juniper’s house, my heart thumping faster as I approach.
What am I doing? She’s probably asleep. Lost in the land of dreams. If she is awake, she’d never let me inside so late.
Apparently, that’s not enough of a reason to get me to turn around.
Her porch lights are on, but the windows are dark. I could turn back around and come over first thing in the morning. Waking her up feels like an asshole move, but I’d rather her be mad at me than hurt. Even though it’s selfish, I can’t sleep with this feeling slithering across my skin.
I need to make things right with her.
“Here goes nothing.” I knock on the door three times and wait, listening for any movement from inside.
Nothing.
I knock again, louder this time. To my relief, the lights inside flip on and the door swings open.
Juniper’s eyes are wide and panicked as she looks at me, then behind me, like she’s looking for someone else. “What’s wrong? Is everyone okay?”
Shit.
Banging on her door in the middle of the night probably sent her into a panic. I really am an asshole.
I hold up my hands in a placating gesture. “Everything is fine. Everyone else is sleeping. Nothing’s wrong.”
“Then why the hell are you banging on my door in the middle of the night?” This is the most agitated I’ve ever heard her, and I kind of like knowing sunshine-y Juniper has a grumpy side, even if it’s directed at me.
