Suddenly, I felt a hundred years old. Like I could barely lift my legs or my arms. I pushed myself out of the car and joinedher at the stairs leading up to her apartment. I took the bag of leftovers my mother had given her. It was heavy as fuck. I carried it for her and followed her up the three flights of stairs until we got to her door.
She handed me her keys, because she knew the drill by now, and I unlocked the door. The landing area had decent lighting so it wasn’t hard to see. I took a step back to give her space.
She was about to step inside when she turned to face me. I saw everything I did to her tonight, right there on her face. A betrayal on every level.
“Come here, Flowers,” I said quietly, and opened my arms. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
It was like watching a wall crumble. Her arms didn’t wrap around me but just fell over my shoulders. She pressed her forehead into my collar bone and the sound of her breath catching broke my heart. I didn’t know what else to do, so I just held on.
“I don’t know why I’m crying,” she wailed.
“It’s okay.”
“It’s…everything. The whole day. Not you. Not you at all.”
“I know.”
For a time, I held her tight while she cried on my shoulder. Felt her body tremble and shake, even as the sound of her sobs wrenched me in two. I squeezed her tighter and pressed my lips against her forehead.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered to her. “I’m so sorry.”
Finally, her breaths turned into hiccups and sniffles.
“I got snot on your shirt,” she mumbled, as she pulled away. She bent down to pick up the bag of leftovers. I’d dropped it to catch her.
“I’ll live. You going to be okay?”
“I’ll live,” she repeated. “Night, E.G.”
“Goodnight, Anna.”
She closed the door. The storm that had overwhelmed me was now suddenly gone.
I don’t know how long I stood there. No more than a minute.
That was all it took to realize I’d been fundamentally changed.
Into what or who…I really didn’t know.
Guess I would figure that out on Monday.
TWENTY-FIVE
ANNA
She woke up feeling like there had been this shift inside her. So she pulled the covers up over her face.
Monday Morning
Me: I’m sick.
E.G.: You’re not sick.
Me: I have a fever of a 102.
E.G.: Bullshit. You’re embarrassed because you got snot on my shirt. Get over it and get your ass to work.
Me: I’m pretty sure it’s the plague.
