If she’d known how I felt she never would’ve ended up with Paul and I wouldn’t carry this pang of guilt in my chest.
Connor has been letting me stay at his place while I’ve been getting settled in Kansas City. My boxes from Texas line the wall in his garage until I decide where I want to live.
In Austin I lived with a few of my teammates. As much as I love Connor, I’d rather not spend the next fifty years of my life with him as my roommate.
He’s far too messy.
The manager set me up with Stu, one of the team’s real estate agents, so I’m spending time looking at houses today. We’ve gone to three places that didn’t feel right to me. But as we drive up to our last property of the day—a large brick house—a grin finds its way onto my face.
The front yard is surrounded by a white picket fence and the front porch is massive with a porch swing.
If I close my eyes, I can almost picture Audrey sitting on it with the world's biggest smile on her face.
We walk inside and each room is painted a different shade of light blue or gray.
“It’s a four bedroom, three bathroom … finished basement. All the appliances have been updated in the last two years. And if we come out to the back …” Stu motions for me to go out the back door. It leads to a large deck attached to an above ground pool and a yard big enough to host parties and play yard games.
We walk around the rest of the house and my entire body is vibrating with excitement.
“What do you think about this one?” Stu asks me as we stand in the front hallway.
“I want to put an offer in,” I tell him after taking one last look around the house.
“Okay, they’re accepting offers until next week so we can draft something up and hopefully make it happen! I’ll get started on that tonight and send it over to you.”
“Sounds good. Thanks, Stu. I appreciate all your help today.” I shake his hand as we head out the front door.
I drive back to Connor’s house, throwing a frozen pizza into the oven while I check in with Connor. He hasn’t reached out to me all day so I’m not sure if that's a good sign or a bad one.
Noah: Hey. How’s everything going?
Connor’s reply is immediate.
Connor: I fucking hate the shit out of this guy.
Noah: Did you see him?
Connor: LOL uh-huh, sure did.
He sends me a picture of his right hand, his knuckles swollen. My first thought is our field manager isn’t going to be too happy about that, but my second thought is, “Hell yeah, Connor!”
Connor: Fucker cried like a baby.
Noah: Atta boy. How's Auddie?
A moment later Connor sends me a photo of her and her friend Selena on a couch with fishbowl-sized drinks on the coffee table in front of them, along with bags of jelly beans and chocolate. She looks adorable wearing navy blue sweatpants and her ratty old high school T-shirt. It’s a cute picture of her, except my eyes settle on her bruised, cut cheek and bloodshot eyes.
It kills me to see her banged up and so hurt.
I hate that I’m not there to wrap her up in a hug and try to take away some of the weight she’s carrying.
Connor: She says, “Hi, No.”
I exit out of my text thread with Connor and scroll down to Audrey’s thread. Our last exchange was in December when she wished me a Merry Christmas.
Noah: Hi, Auddie.
Connor’s next text pops up a minute later.
