“That’s none of your business,” I snapped.
“The hell it isn’t,” he shot back. “You’re disappearing, Julian. And she’s not stupid.”
"You don't know what you are talking about," I snarled.
He gave me a once-over, a look of disgust that I had only ever seen him wield at our father, "You think you are so much better than everyone else, better thanhim. But you are playing right into his hand, Julian. He's turning you into him, and you are letting him."
I told him to mind his own life.
He told me I was about to ruin the best thing that had ever happened to me.
I didn’t speak to him for a week.
Work became refuge, then an excuse and then a weapon.
The acquisition was massive, high-stakes, and politically delicate. My father’s company had brought the deal to me. It was supposed to be seamless.
It wasn’t.
The woman Richard had introduced to me months ago apparently worked for him now, and Simone was assigned as liaison from my father’s side. He promised she was brilliant and persistent. I found her to be inappropriate in ways that felt deliberate.
I corrected her repeatedly. Drew boundaries immediately.
My first interaction with her was the day Lucy tried to bring me lunch, and I screwed up brutally. Simone had shown up dressed for a club and not a business meeting. She was supposed to come to the meeting prepared to break down what the company would look for in the acquisition negotiations. She came unprepared and set me off.
When I close my eyes, I still can see the look in Lucy's eyes when she dropped the bag of, what I discovered to be, my favourite foods. She waited just long enough for our eyes to lock, for me to see exactly what I had done, what Iwasdoing and walked away without saying a word.
I had to leave right after. I stood staring at her sleep, recognizing the moments her body started to wake her up. I knew the minute she was aware I was watching her.
I wanted to climb back into bed with her. Say hell no to the acquisition. I wanted to bare myself to her and tell her I had no idea what I was doing, but the idea of not having her in my life was terrifying.
But I was a coward who had always let work lead and had never been taught or shown what a healthy relationship looked like.
So, I watched tears fall down Lucy's cheeks, and I walked away.
I convinced myself it was what I needed to do to get through this business deal, with focus and clarity, and then I could focus on Lucy.
Like you could just hit pause on a marriage and expect to resume when you're ready.
I felt physically sick as I boarded the flight. But I am a stubborn man, so I swallowed the nausea with scotch and focused on work.
Simone continued to parade herself around me, and my patience continued to fray.
One night, when she leaned too far over my desk, I gave her my jacket without thinking, not as a gesture of intimacy, but to shut the moment down, to cover the girl up.
I wanted it done.
I wanted to go home.
I told myself I needed to understand what Lucy had awakened in me before I faced her with it.
That logic cost me everything.
It wasn’t until the first week away that it hit me.
The realization came quietly, without drama.
I had never,not once, heard the words 'I love you' spoken to me before Lucy whispered them into existence.
