I don’t know what this is.“Look, we can get out of here,” I suggest to Maya.“We can leave early and slip away.Just us.”
“How can we leave?We’re on a boat.Zach.”
I can arrange it if she really wants to leave, and it’s clear she does.I’ll ask the captain to dock early.
“I can’t help if I don’t know what’s wrong, and something clearly is wrong.You can’t convince me it isn’t.”
She pauses, then “It’s … my mom.”
I have a nagging feeling this is nothing to do with her mom.“What is it?”I ask anyway.“Can I help?”
She looks away.Doesn’t even dignify that with an answer.
“It’s not your mom, is it?”It’s coming back to me now, what she said when I told her she was pushing me away.
It’s not you, I promise.Now it makes me wonder, if it isn’t me, then who is it?
“I’m going to tell the captain to dock early.”I start to walk away, but she grabs my wrist.
“Don’t end your party early, Zach.Don’t.I’m sorry.I’m sorry for being like this.”
“Then tell me what’s wrong.”
She stares at me blankly.
“Talk to me, Maya.This is me.This is us.Please.”I beg.I want to help her, and I hate that she’s not letting me in.
“I just need to go home as soon as the boat docks.”There’s no drama, no edge to her words, and yet they hit me like a wrecking ball.My brain scrambles to rearrange them into something that doesn’t mean what they mean.
She’s hiding something from me.
Something she’s scared to tell me.
I have to accept it.She wants to leave as soon as we dock.
Dex and Rio were talking about having a party at one of the apartments, either Jett’s or Rio’s because those guys have pools.They want to continue partying into the early hours.It would have been fantastic, and memorable.A fitting end to my day, but I have a feeling that Maya won’t want to go, and I don’t want to go without her.
“Do you want to go back to the apartment?”I say, calling it the apartment like it belongs to us, like it’s our secret meeting place.
She shakes her head.“No.I can’t.I can’t.”
I force air into my lungs.“Okay.”I try to sound flippant, but it doesn’t come out like that.I’m hurt.She’s just broken something in me, because I don’t understand and I don’t recognize this version of her.It’s so infuriating that I want to punch a hole in a wall.
“I’ll take you back to your apartment,” I tell her.
“There’s no need.Your dad’s just arrived and you need to spend time with him.”
“He’s my dad,” I say.“He’s always here.”
She stays quiet.Looks away.She probably thinks I’m being ungrateful.
“Look.I know he came all the way back, and I don’t know why he did that, because it’s not like him to put family matters before business, but I want this evening to be as good as it was before he arrived.The only way it can be salvaged is if I spend it with you.”
“Don’t convince me to change my mind.”She lifts her hand to my chest.“You should spend time with your family, and leave me be.”
I stare at the water, and the lights in the distance, trying to make sense of this chaos and knowing, with a sinking feeling, that I can’t salvage this evening.
“Would you like a drink?”I ask, finally.“Or something to eat?”
