I remember mom crying soundlessly, tears sliding down her face as she apologized for something that was never her fault.It made me feel sick, and angry, fury coursing through my veins as I felt powerless to do anything.
A hand closes around my arm, jolting me back to the present.
“You okay, hon?”
Cari stares at me, her eyes large with concern and understanding.It’s almost as if she knows I’m reliving something awful.“You don’t look so good,” she says gently.“Do you want to sit down?Eat something?Shall I get you a glass of water?Or something stronger?”
Such concern for my welfare.I’m touched, but I struggle to speak because my mouth is so dry.
“Did something happen?Shall I get Zach?”she offers.
“No,” I say quickly.“Don’t get Zach.”I grip the railing tightly.The metal is cold and solid against my clammy hands.The city lights twinkle and glitter across the shimmering water, and that, along with the sound of music and party chatter, makes me feel like I’m trapped between two worlds.
“Maya,” Zach murmurs, rushing to my side looking relieved that he’s found me.A million question swim in his eyes.“It’s okay,” he tells Cari.“I’ve got her.”
But Cari doesn’t go immediately.Her hand rests on my arm, warm and comforting for a few seconds.“Let me know if there’s anything you need, or anything I can do.”She vanishes, but I feel a little better because of her.She’s such an angel.I don’t even know her, but I can’t miss the compassion in her voice.
“Is everything okay?”Zach’s voice is gentle, careful, as if I’m some delicate object he’s scared of breaking.
Okay.
The word almost makes me laugh.His father’s presence when I least expected it feels like a chokehold I can’t shake.Even when I can’t see him, I can feel him, and unease spreads across my veins like poison.
I’m not okay, and I won’t be for as long as I stay on this yacht, but I force myself to stand tall, and turn back toward the deck.Toward the party.Toward the version of myself who can pretend everything is okay.
Chapter 32
ZACH
My stomach is tied up in knots, because even though Maya tells me she’s okay, I know she isn’t.
She’s not the same Maya from before my father appeared.That tells me something.She schools herself, tries to smile, tries to compose herself, but the light in her eyes is dead, flat and gone out.
Her expression is composed, not natural.Her lips curve and she’s trying to smile, but her eyes don’t lift.
It’s obvious that something is off.
I love that Cari is talking to her.I love that she went and sought her out, found her before I did.I step forward, reaching for Maya’s hand.She lets me take it, but she doesn’t wrap her fingers around mine like she’d usually do.She’s shutting me out, slowly.
“Maya,” I say softly.“Shall we go back and join the party?”
“Uh … okay.”It sounds like she doesn’t want to, and it’s so obvious, and yet she’s trying so hard to act like she does, trying to be neutral and polite when she’s clearly not happy.
Maya looks past me.I’m staring at a different woman.Not the Maya from a short while ago, from before we cut the cake.The joyous woman who enchanted everyone she met.Who smiled and laughed, whose face lit up whenever she looked at me.I try to hold on to the version of the night I had back then, and how quickly it’s changed.
Now I’m in this nightmare hellscape of a night.
What the hell happened?
My father is talking to some business associates, a whiskey glass in his hand.He laughs, and it’s the most unfamiliar sound.It’s not like him to laugh, but maybe he’s doing it despite me.
He knows he ruined this evening.
You’d have to be a statue not to notice the chill in the air when he arrived, and my father is very good at noticing things.He sees below the surface.He senses things.He’s like all-knowing.Omniscient.
Cari keeps on coming over, to make sure Mayha’s okay.I appreciate her concern.
“Thanks for looking out for her,” I tell her.
