But nothing feels okay anymore.“I need to use the washroom.”I disappear, into the night, and find a corner where I can catch my breath.
I can’t shake it.Memories from that night come flooding back so vividly.
“We have to go, Maya.”I hear my mother’s voice that day we left the Knight Estate.At first I didn’t understand, and then I didn’t believe her.
“Maya, now!We need to leave now.We don’t have long.”The fear in her voice, something I’d never heard before, shook me to my senses.
I remember moaning, refusing to leave.“But why, Mom?Why are we leaving?”
Her hands tightened around mine, her knuckles were almost white.I was scared then, scared because this was unusual, and unexpected.I had no idea what had happened, and seeing my mom’s face, so pale, her eyes red-rimmed and gaunt, shook me into awareness in a way her words hadn’t.
“No questions.Just do as I say.”
“But w—”
“Don’t ask,” she hissed.“Don’t say a word.Pack everything.Everything, you hear me?”
Why everything?Before I could protest, one of the other housekeepers, my mom’s friend, put her arm around my shoulders.“Don’t worry, Carmen, I’ll help her get packed.”
I had a million questions, but knew better than to ask them.
“It’s a hard night for your mom.Please, Maya.Please.She’ll explain everything later.But you need to leave.”
“I don’t want to leave!”I wailed.How could I leave Zach?What would I do without him?I hadn’t even seen him come back from school and I desperately needed to let him know.Maybe he could fix whatever this was.
“You have to do what your mom says.Please.Be there for her.”The way my mom’s friend spoke.The way she looked at me, told me it was something bad.Something serious.So I did as she asked.In that moment I was fifteen, going on thirty-five.The burden of life settling heavy in my chest.
After that, I packed quickly, my mom’s haggard expression burning in my mind.Mom packed, too.Not that we had many belongings.We were ushered out from the back, and we left in silence, my mom trying to stay strong.I should have known then, the way all the housekeepers hugged us, this wasn’t us going away for a few days.
This was us leaving forever.
They helped us carry boxes, and two small suitcases, loaded into one of the fancy cars on the estate.The cars that Zach and his family were always chauffeured around in.
A part of me tried to reason.It couldn’t be bad if we were going in one of Zach’s dad’s cars.Just as I got in, Zach came running out, but the driver shut the door.Zach waved at me like he knew what was happening.
But now I know he didn’t have a clue.
When I replay the memory, what I mistook for calm composure, was mere shock.He had no idea.Like me, he thought we’d be back soon.Just like that, we were driven out of the Knight Estate, banished, as I would later learn.And I was exiled out of Zach’s life forever.
We stayed with one of Mom’s friends, sleeping on a sofa bed that smelled like sweat and detergent.We stayed for a few nights, and on the second night my mom finally sat me down and told me the truth.
She told me how Zach’s father had looked at her.How he came up to her in the library.How he touched her.What he said.What he tried.And how, when she refused him, something small and ugly appeared behind his eyes and how it scared her.
When he did it again a few days later, she was frightened for her life.She slapped him.Then the ugliness turned vicious.She told me that the way he looked at her terrified her, but she managed to get away.After that she didn’t know what this man would do, and she made sure she was never alone in a room with him, ready for him to pounce.
But things got worse.A few days later, a necklace went missing.Allegedly, his late wife’s pearl wedding necklace.He accused my mom, and she vehemently denied it.Then, magically, the same necklace was found among my mom’s possessions in her room.
Mom denied it.“I didn’t do it!”she told me.“I’m not a thief.You know that.”
I tried to console her.“You’re not, Mamá.You didn’t do it.It was a mistake.Someone probably put it there.”
“No,” she said quietly.“Heput it there.”
He fired her.Gave her an ultimatum.Told her to leave quietly, or he would report it to the police.She wasn’t guilty of anything.She hadn’t taken it, but he had what he needed; a reason to get rid of her.
That was why we left.
As days turned into weeks, and we still slept on that friend’s couch, my mom’s life was erased, quietly and efficiently.I found out later that she tried desperately to find work, but couldn’t.We had to move away, out of the state because Paul Knight made it difficult for my mom to find a similar job with another wealthy family.Mom figured it out later, heard it from a friend who heard it from a friend, like a virus that spread around; he’d told those same lies to his friends, and they didn’t hire my mom.He’d lied to make it impossible for my mom to find work with other wealthy families.Maybe he was scared my mom would tell them the truth.As if a housekeeper had that sort of power.As if people would believe her over the word of a billionaire.
