A short figure was standing by the window, their dark outline stark against the brilliant rectangle of light. Raya.
“Need anything?” Raya’s voice sounded distant, as though she was speaking through a long tunnel.
“No,” Jade croaked, slumping back to the floor. The linoleum was cool and had a comforting bit of bounce. It was almost pleasant. “How did I get here?”
“Alex carried you. You were out of it. You sure you don’t want anything? Water?”
Jade shook her head; she didn’t want anything. Not now. Not again.
“Where’s Ellis? Is he here?”
“No idea. He disappeared after Jax. We’re not sure what he’ll do now. He’s in the minority, so if we have another vote, he’ll lose. We’re worried he might do something stupid. So, we’re going to stay in twos,in case he decides to try and pick us off one by one,” she said matter-of-factly. “Ana and Alex are checking out the vent to see if it leads to Bates’s hideout.” Raya moved closer and sat on the floor next to Jade, her dusty DMs squeaking against the floor. “It’s good news, Jade. We’re going to find Bates and we’re going to get out of here. We’re going to be okay.”
Jade heard the words but felt nothing. It was too late to be hopeful. Jax was already dead. Even if, by some miracle, she survived—her life would be over. Her reputation would be destroyed. She was a killer; the kind that true-crime TV loved—young and beautiful.
“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry,” Raya added, her voice uncharacteristically soft. “Jax didn’t deserve that.”
Jade didn’t move. There was no answer. She knew Jax didn’t deserve it more than anyone. She had killed him. She had thrown his phone over the line because she was stupid and selfish. She should have died, not him.
A thought had been circling amid the guilt—something hard to reach. Jade didn’t know if she had the words to express it. She wasn’t even sure she understood it fully. But somehow, she had to put it out there.
“It’s karma. Because of what I did to Karl Hunt.”
Raya didn’t speak, but her dark-rimmed eyes watched Jade thoughtfully.
“Jax’s death, the white line, all this bad stuff is happening to me because the fire wasmyfault, wasn’t it?” She looked at Raya, searching for a sign of agreement. But Raya gave nothing away.
Jade carried on. She had to. She was too far into this. It needed to be said.
“I humiliated Karl Hunt in the locker room. I wanted to make him pay because he embarrassed me, following me around, thinking I would ever be interested in someone like him. It was mortifying. Everyone waslaughing at me. I hated it so much. He had no right to make me feel that way. So, I hurt him—I wanted to. The next day…he hurt me back. Not just me…all of us. I know I didn’t light the match, but I think I was there, in his head. I was the reason he did what he did. And I’ve done it again. I took Jax for granted. I was a horrible girlfriend, you know, flirting with other people, with Alex, right in front of him. I cheated on him too. More than once. He didn’t deserve it. He was always just…Jax. And now he’s dead because of me. It’s karma. I’m being punished because I’m bad. I’ve done cruel, bad things. Now I’m paying for them.”
Jade pushed herself to sitting. Tears had pooled in the corners of her eyes. They flowed freely down her cheeks, leaving streaks on her face.
“I’m going to die here, Raya. I know it. I’m going to die, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it from happening because I deserve to die.”
She broke into full hard sobs. It was the end. Her end. She knew it. No coming back.
“So, you’re guilty. Big whoop.” Raya’s voice pulled Jade up short. “This isn’tThe Jade Show. We’re all guilty. We’re all in this karmic hellhole for a reason. We’ve got to find a way to get over that, or we might as well just throw ourselves over the line now. Save everyone the trouble.”
Jade sniffed. Hearing it said like that—just casually put out there, made it seem smaller somehow.You’re guilty. Big whoop.
For a moment they sat together silently, lost in their own thoughts. The room was heavy with heat, dust drifting slowly in the air, circling through strips of sunlight. A fly buzzed lazily above them. It was oppressive and yet oddly reassuring, as though time was slowing, the future held at bay, at least for a moment.
“I wasn’t at the gym when the fire started,” Raya said, so quietly Jade almost missed it. “I waslucky, everyone said.”
Jade glanced sideways at Raya. There was something in herexpression, her voice, that was unfamiliar. This wasn’t the usual irritatingly politically correct Raya. She seemed different somehow.
“See, the thing is…it wasn’t luck.” Raya turned her face away, towards the window.
Jade was confused. What was Raya trying to tell her?
“Karl came to see Caden that night at halftime,” Raya continued. “Caden and I were hanging in the back of his Candyvan. Karl seemed okay, a bit wired, but not dangerous or anything; he just wanted to get high. He was blowing off steam, ranting about how he’d just been suspended, how the school was full of evil bitches and bullies. Going on and on.”
Jade did the math. It was the day after the locker room incident. He was talking about her.An evil bitch. That was her.
“Caden left; he hated drama in his Candyvan. Messed with his head. But Karl didn’t stop; he kept ranting about how school sucked.” Raya paused, considering her next words carefully. “The thing is, he told me that in the third quarter he was going to light up ‘the whole fucking place…’”
Raya’s words tailed off. She closed her eyes.
