“Suyin is special,” he growled. “She is worth protecting.”
Is she special enough to die for? Because that’s what you need to do to complete the spell.
“That’s absurd. There is no way to complete the spell without her. A life must be sacrificed with the blood offerings in order to—”
He broke off suddenly.
A life must be sacrificed.
The spell required a death sacrifice. He had concluded that with certainty. It would never have the strength to push through Lucifer’s defenses without it, and his bond with Suyin had turned her life into an even more powerful offering.
But there weretwoblood sacrifices in the casting. Suyin, and himself.
And therefore … two potential deaths.
Sacrificing Suyin despite his attachment to her would greatly increase the power of the offering. But he hadn’t considered the other alternative.
Sacrificinghimselfto save her would be ten times more powerful. One hundred times.
There was nothing more potent than a selfless sacrifice in all of magic. It was so incredibly rare to harness in a ritual that it was almost unheard of. But when circumstances aligned, and a selfless sacrifice could be made, free of duress …
The power was immeasurable.
His spine shot straight as he realized exactly what he hadto do. On his knees at the edge of the sigil, the culmination of years of work, the peak of his achievements, he faced the end.
It would work, too. He would summon Belial with one of his favors, forcing him to step into the portal and open the door. Murmur didn’t technically have to be present for the task to be completed.
No, he wasn’t actually contemplating this, was he?
You’ve formed an attachment, that stupid fucking inner voice informed him.A powerful bond. Accept it. Do what must be done.
“No.” He shook his head.
You love her. That’s why you can’t kill her. That’s why you have to do this.
“No.” His heart skipped a beat. “No, I do not. I cannotlove—I’m not capable of such a thing.”
You think of her in every spare moment. You enjoy her company, and you wish you could keep her here forever. You feel sick at the thought of hurting her.
“Wrong!” he shouted at the empty room. “You’re wrong—”
You felt sick carving the death mark into her skin because you hated betraying her trust. You wanted to be worthy of her. You despised the idea of hurting her.
“Stop it. Just … stop.”
You went there with the intention of taking her life. Then you enjoyed her body and the sight of her pleasure-drunk eyes. And then you lied to her and left her to die.
“I saidstop.”
You betrayed her. And you love her. And now you hate yourself.
He dropped his head in his hands, forgetting the blood still staining his finger. He really was mad, sitting here arguing with himself. Incapable of completing his spell.
That’s not true. You know what you have to do, and you’re more than capable.
“Yes.” He slowly lifted his head, looking around his library. “Yes, I do know.”
Empty. The room was so empty and lightless. Full of knowledge, but what had it amounted to? At the end of the day, he was alone. What was so special about his life anyway? He was driven to survive by nothing but pure selfish ambition. At the end of the day, he meant nothing.
